Top 10 List of Men No Guy I Meet will EVER Live Up To

It's true. We all know what we want in a guy, and these guys have it ad nauseum. Sorry to the other fellas out there who can only hope to fall in position #11.

#10. David Byrne

Not only is this vocal stunner a founding member of my number 1 all-time favorite band (Talking Heads), BUT he is so incredibly interesting that it literally tires me. I read the Talking Heads documentary a couple years ago, "This Must Be the Place" and I recommend it to TH fans and all music lovers out there. Fun fact: Byrne is also a total cycle enthusiast, he's been biking around NYC his whole life and actually writes a cycling column in the New York Times

#9. Conan O'Brien
Yep, I picked the jeggings picture. You all know why. What a talent. Really, this Conan character will go down with the best of em. Andy Kauffman, Johnny Carson, Kermit the Frog. I love him to pieces. My sister and I used to watch Late Night with Conan O'Brien after my mom thought we were sleeping. I blame him for my insomnia, and wit.

#8. Ira Glass
Another wonderful dude behind a desk, my man, Ira Glass. The voice of NPR and host of America's #1 podcast, "This American Life". If you haven't listened to the podcast, you are SERIOUSLY without. Download it free on iTunes, right now, do it. Or watch visually and instantly on Netflix. It's an incredibly well-produced and informative radio show (something we TV junkies have lost appreciation for). So light your pipe, sit in your armchair with a dog at your feet, and turn on the ole speaker box for tonight's show!

#7. Sanjay Gupta
It's no myth that chicks dig the white coat. And my guess is Sanjay looks pretty good underneath it too! "Paging Dr. Gupta" is a terrific blog. It provides introspective questions, global relevance, and medical know-how at a level appropriate for the American public. God bless you, Dr. Gupta... now let's make out.

#6. Jack Shephard
Hey look, another medicinal man! Ok ok, so Jack isn't real. Not since the island kept him for itself, anyway. But this man is a powerhouse, a leader, a prophet. All that, "live together or die alone" stuff, wooo wee. Even Matthew Fox could never live up to those cahonies.

#5. Mario Lemieux
Pittsburgh-phile, hockey great, philanthropist, friend. Well he's not my friend, per se, but I don't see why he wouldn't be? He saved the Pens from moving out of Pittsburgh, tried to save the Pirates from the stank hole they are currently in, and saves lives through his cancer outreach initiatives. And cute to boot! Every girl loves a hockey booty.

#4. Anderson Cooper
Wooo, this one got a big smooch from the sexy fairy. Which also coincidentally convinced him to become a fairy. Eh well, if there's just 1 out of these 10 that I have no chance with, I suppose I am ok with that. His face and voice alone are untouchable by terrestrial beings, but then he's so intelligent and aware and altruistic. Plus, his mom is a designer, FABULOUS!

#3. SmarterChild
From Paul Davidson on Wired.com
How is SmarterChild so smart? Rly? Like WTF? asl, SmarterChild?? Too bad, the bots gone now though :-( replaced by that bitch, GossipinGabby.

#2. Dr. Christiaan Barnard
Now, granted, when Dr. Barnard performed the first ever successful heart transplant surgery in South Africa, you could basically put anything in anyone at any time under the poor state of medical regulations. BUT STILL, what a pioneer. How brave and confident. He set into motion a fascinating field of transplant surgery that would eventually give birth to my field! Yay for mechanical device implantation!

#1. Paul Newman.
Kill me, I can barely look at this. Swoon.
My heart just skipped a beat. Paul Newman was all American, all brawn. He's played a cowboy, a con man, even a hockey player. Nothing not to love. I like this quote, "If Marlon Brando and James Dean defined the defiant American male as a sullen rebel, Paul Newman recreated him as a likable renegade". He was such a sweetheart right up to his death in 2008. He stayed besties with Robert Redford (who's aging about as gracefully as a $5 pizza). And he also tops my "list of dressings no dressing will ever live up to"
Pour it on, honey.

But of course, as Frenchy so eloquently puts it in Grease, "The only man a girl can trust is her daddy".

Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to take a cold shower.