Tuesday, August 19, 2008


I bet you are wondering what the title of my blog means. Well Ka,oe (pronounced Kapoot, in my opinion) is the stupid thing I type when I am trying to type my name too fast. This happens at least 3 times a day, usually while logging into gmail and I need to re-enter my login. So I am going to take this on as my new alter-ego: Ka,oe - just a fast girl in a fast, fast world.

Ok, anyway...

School starts on Monday, here are the reasons I know I am off to a great start:

1. Two of my classes (out of the 3 grad classes I scheduled) completely overlap times. Hear that, Professors? Better impress me or its your class I'm gonna be skipping everyday.

2. I sort of, kinda, told my work I'll stay on full time for one more week. Hmm, it's going to be busy...

3. As a graduate student I will go to class 50% and work in a lab 50%. Isn't it great that my lab is located at the bottom of Bates hill and I'll be hiking up and down that S.O.B. everyday???

4. I'll be missing classes on Friday and Monday in liu of a little Myrtle Beach road trip with Craigger. Eh, first classes are just going over the syllabus anyway, right?!

But on the upside, Little Micky Hane Hane is coming to Pittsburgh in 1 week! I can't wait to have that kid around. I'm going to love watching her tackle her freshmen year. Nobody buy her booze ok? Make her work for it (ew, not like that, Dallas, c'mon).

So let's take Summer '08 out big ok? Let's have a great time this weekend, all together.

Peace and Love,

Monday, August 18, 2008

fif-tee fore sea

So another Monday finds me riding the 54C to work. By the way, my office moved from dirty south oakland (past the BLVD!) to Medical Arts which is conveniently right on 5th. Also, we have a nice kitchen that's always stocked. I consider that a promotion.

Anyway, the bus ride today was typically atypical and here's why:

Elderly and handicapped does not equal fat. Remember this. I completely agree that we should turn over our seats to the elderly and the handicapped, however, fattness is not a handicap and I hate when a big ole fat lady asks me to forfeit my seat so she can relieve her ankles. This happened to me today, obviously. Who cares if she was holding a baby and 2 bags of groceries?!?

I didn't really mind moving to the back though since I was sitting next to Asstastic's boyfriend and she was across from him and they were dirty talking to each other. She kept mouthing, "I don't know what I am gonna do with you..." Ew.

I liked this though, someone scratched off part of the decal that was on the window that said, "A little farther back please" so that it read, "A little fart please"


Tuesday, August 12, 2008


Only time for one quick comparison:

Dallas and the bartender from the Tiki Lounge on Carson Street!!!

Friday, August 8, 2008

Itchy and Scratchy

Hey there all,

I am having an amazing time here in St. Thomas of the US Virgin Islands. Some of you may have noticed the phantom post title "Away on Leave" that I posted and then withdrew. Well the story with that is that I wrote a long post while drunk off Cruzan Rum and when I read it the next day, I was like, "uummmm... veto"

So here's a nice, sober, and true account of my past week. In a word --- paradise :-)

It's fantastic, although, no vacation would be complete without the mishaps that I often associate myself with. First of all, we get off the plane and the car rental place only has Honda Civics. OH, didn't I tell you? There are 7 people in my family. So the whole week we have been cramming the 4 twenty-somethings in the back and my little sis (18), mom, and step-dad in the front. And on top of all that, my step-dad is having trouble getting used to driving on the left hand side (as custom in the USVI) so theres a near fatal crash everytime we go out. Fun stuff.

Today we went to St. John, the hilliest motha island known to man and as we were getting ready to leave we let the car air out a bit, doors open, ya see. Well, dumb ass move. We all cram in, close her up, roll up the windows to let the AC pump just to realize there are no less than 40,000 mosquitos in the car. Jim can't figure out how to drive on the left andddd unlock the windows for us, so us kids go on a clapping frenzy killing families of bugs. I was covered with bug carcas and my own blood but we finally got them. We got them all. Sorry if this sounds dramatic, but Craig and I are reading "1776" for our book club and I just finished the Boston Massacre chapter.

I have increased my chance of contracting West Nile by 400%.

Other than thatttt

I went snorkeling today! Micky gets to the beach, puts her gear on and says, "I'm going to snorkel my brains out" That set the mood for the day. We were out there for like 2 hours straight. I lovvveeedddd it! Except for the jellyfish mine field that I treaded through (again, "1776"). I saw turtles and they were soooo cute. I also saw a puffer fish, he was smaller than I would have thought. I swam through this school of fish that was unreal. They were very small, maybe 2 inches long each, but they were bright silver and fluorescent purple and there must have been 10,000, no exhaggeration. I swam with them, they were my friends. My family saw a huge sting ray but I bounced out by then.

Oh haha but get this. I'm trying to dry off, taking a walk in the little shady grove off the beach and I turn around to see my mom staring at me speechless, like she saw a ghost. I'm like, "Mom, what's up?" I turn to my left, and Jesus H. there's a freaking donkey standing next to me. A DONKEY!! What?! But yea, that's how St. John rolls.

There's sooo much more I want to say. Like how my family had a professional beach photo shoot or how I sang "Son of a Preacher Man" at beach karaoke and won a bottle of Coconut Rum. You'll have to wait till I get home to hear first hand :-)

10 points to the first person who can say what tomorrow is?!?

Saturday, August 2, 2008

The Storm Before the Calm

I was driving along the turnpike trying to think of what I could possibly blog about when it came to me POW! like an explosion. Oh wait, no, that was just my back tire blowing up.

These things happen, I figured... yea, these things happen TO ME! I ran something over, it looked like roadkill as I approached it but the only way roadkill would have busted my tire was if the little critter died with its razor sharp claws extended in the air. Maybe it was a land mine, who knows. Story gets worse... my phone is dead. Amateur mistake. I hobble over to the shoulder of the turnpike and allow my mind to formulate some stupid ass plan that has little to no chance of working.

In driver's ed in high school we all had to submit an end of the year project, so me and my group filmed a how-to video for changing a tire. It was about 15 minutes long and there was no talking so we decided to add in background music. This was my portion of the project and being the raver that I am, I added an obnoxious techno song. I remember sitting in the gym watching this trippy movie with my peers and being soooo embarrassed.

So needless to say, as I am pulling my donut out of my trunk, I am humming Sandstorm and trying to backtrack to this movie. I was surprisingly thorough with this endeavor, secured all the wheels, found the indent in the car frame and jacked it up all nice. I thought I was facked when the bolts were turned so tight but luckily, I went to the gym this week, so I had super human strength. I pulled the one-two-change-a-roo and was back in action in no time. I stopped at the next rest stop to call my parents and I decided that my luck today is unparalleled so I bought a lottery ticket there as well. No dice.

As if the drive from Pittsburgh to Allentown isn't awful enough, try doing it at 40 miles per hour. Unbelievable. I had 150 miles left when ole Hanerz blew her load.

Anyway, I can't complain, it was a beautiful day, I changed a tire like a champ, and I am going to the Caribbean tomorrow at 6:50 am!! It's going to be sooooo calm and relaxing, I absolutely can't wait.

So, reader, this concludes another chapter of Jamie Neutron. Take care, charge your phones, and never doubt the power of techno.

My YouTube Playlist of the Minute