Saturday, August 2, 2008

The Storm Before the Calm

I was driving along the turnpike trying to think of what I could possibly blog about when it came to me POW! like an explosion. Oh wait, no, that was just my back tire blowing up.

These things happen, I figured... yea, these things happen TO ME! I ran something over, it looked like roadkill as I approached it but the only way roadkill would have busted my tire was if the little critter died with its razor sharp claws extended in the air. Maybe it was a land mine, who knows. Story gets worse... my phone is dead. Amateur mistake. I hobble over to the shoulder of the turnpike and allow my mind to formulate some stupid ass plan that has little to no chance of working.

In driver's ed in high school we all had to submit an end of the year project, so me and my group filmed a how-to video for changing a tire. It was about 15 minutes long and there was no talking so we decided to add in background music. This was my portion of the project and being the raver that I am, I added an obnoxious techno song. I remember sitting in the gym watching this trippy movie with my peers and being soooo embarrassed.

So needless to say, as I am pulling my donut out of my trunk, I am humming Sandstorm and trying to backtrack to this movie. I was surprisingly thorough with this endeavor, secured all the wheels, found the indent in the car frame and jacked it up all nice. I thought I was facked when the bolts were turned so tight but luckily, I went to the gym this week, so I had super human strength. I pulled the one-two-change-a-roo and was back in action in no time. I stopped at the next rest stop to call my parents and I decided that my luck today is unparalleled so I bought a lottery ticket there as well. No dice.

As if the drive from Pittsburgh to Allentown isn't awful enough, try doing it at 40 miles per hour. Unbelievable. I had 150 miles left when ole Hanerz blew her load.

Anyway, I can't complain, it was a beautiful day, I changed a tire like a champ, and I am going to the Caribbean tomorrow at 6:50 am!! It's going to be sooooo calm and relaxing, I absolutely can't wait.

So, reader, this concludes another chapter of Jamie Neutron. Take care, charge your phones, and never doubt the power of techno.


Michael said...

Chick blogged...nice blog. Craig and I introduced Ravi to the civilized game of golf today - he's a natural.

Michael said...

Also - phone not charged...have you not learned anything from Craig being sans phone (except for the times when its plugged in) for the last couple months? Amateur at best Hanerz.

Craig said...

You gotta get the landline working.

Now that's what I call a bift!

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