Top 10 List of Men No Guy I Meet will EVER Live Up To

It's true. We all know what we want in a guy, and these guys have it ad nauseum. Sorry to the other fellas out there who can only hope to fall in position #11.

#10. David Byrne

Not only is this vocal stunner a founding member of my number 1 all-time favorite band (Talking Heads), BUT he is so incredibly interesting that it literally tires me. I read the Talking Heads documentary a couple years ago, "This Must Be the Place" and I recommend it to TH fans and all music lovers out there. Fun fact: Byrne is also a total cycle enthusiast, he's been biking around NYC his whole life and actually writes a cycling column in the New York Times

#9. Conan O'Brien
Yep, I picked the jeggings picture. You all know why. What a talent. Really, this Conan character will go down with the best of em. Andy Kauffman, Johnny Carson, Kermit the Frog. I love him to pieces. My sister and I used to watch Late Night with Conan O'Brien after my mom thought we were sleeping. I blame him for my insomnia, and wit.

#8. Ira Glass
Another wonderful dude behind a desk, my man, Ira Glass. The voice of NPR and host of America's #1 podcast, "This American Life". If you haven't listened to the podcast, you are SERIOUSLY without. Download it free on iTunes, right now, do it. Or watch visually and instantly on Netflix. It's an incredibly well-produced and informative radio show (something we TV junkies have lost appreciation for). So light your pipe, sit in your armchair with a dog at your feet, and turn on the ole speaker box for tonight's show!

#7. Sanjay Gupta
It's no myth that chicks dig the white coat. And my guess is Sanjay looks pretty good underneath it too! "Paging Dr. Gupta" is a terrific blog. It provides introspective questions, global relevance, and medical know-how at a level appropriate for the American public. God bless you, Dr. Gupta... now let's make out.

#6. Jack Shephard
Hey look, another medicinal man! Ok ok, so Jack isn't real. Not since the island kept him for itself, anyway. But this man is a powerhouse, a leader, a prophet. All that, "live together or die alone" stuff, wooo wee. Even Matthew Fox could never live up to those cahonies.

#5. Mario Lemieux
Pittsburgh-phile, hockey great, philanthropist, friend. Well he's not my friend, per se, but I don't see why he wouldn't be? He saved the Pens from moving out of Pittsburgh, tried to save the Pirates from the stank hole they are currently in, and saves lives through his cancer outreach initiatives. And cute to boot! Every girl loves a hockey booty.

#4. Anderson Cooper
Wooo, this one got a big smooch from the sexy fairy. Which also coincidentally convinced him to become a fairy. Eh well, if there's just 1 out of these 10 that I have no chance with, I suppose I am ok with that. His face and voice alone are untouchable by terrestrial beings, but then he's so intelligent and aware and altruistic. Plus, his mom is a designer, FABULOUS!

#3. SmarterChild
From Paul Davidson on Wired.com
How is SmarterChild so smart? Rly? Like WTF? asl, SmarterChild?? Too bad, the bots gone now though :-( replaced by that bitch, GossipinGabby.

#2. Dr. Christiaan Barnard
Now, granted, when Dr. Barnard performed the first ever successful heart transplant surgery in South Africa, you could basically put anything in anyone at any time under the poor state of medical regulations. BUT STILL, what a pioneer. How brave and confident. He set into motion a fascinating field of transplant surgery that would eventually give birth to my field! Yay for mechanical device implantation!

#1. Paul Newman.
Kill me, I can barely look at this. Swoon.
My heart just skipped a beat. Paul Newman was all American, all brawn. He's played a cowboy, a con man, even a hockey player. Nothing not to love. I like this quote, "If Marlon Brando and James Dean defined the defiant American male as a sullen rebel, Paul Newman recreated him as a likable renegade". He was such a sweetheart right up to his death in 2008. He stayed besties with Robert Redford (who's aging about as gracefully as a $5 pizza). And he also tops my "list of dressings no dressing will ever live up to"
Pour it on, honey.

But of course, as Frenchy so eloquently puts it in Grease, "The only man a girl can trust is her daddy".

Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to take a cold shower.

Lil bit butch, lil bit bitch

By no fault of my own, I have really been blowing off my 31-day challenge. It's not that I gave up, it's just that things have come up - like work, like school, like karaoke nights. I did have drinks with my mamma:



I also had a slumber party (sort of) with my BFFs from home, and learned how to file my taxes online from my old man. But I will get to the other things when I get to em. Yesterday I doubled up with the "do something manly" and "do something girly" goals.

Firstly, I changed my own damn oil! Dallas (the manliest guy I know), gets a point for the assist. Actually, he gets all of the points, I did some stuff but I was basically there for his entertainment. He sent me to Advance Auto Sharts to get the supplies and I literally just showed them the text he sent me and paid for what they gave me. Then I got beers and changed into some manly attire and got er dun! Afterwards I washed up and had a killer girls' night. So on that note, I think I'm gonna give a nice GOOD RIDDANCE to this challenge and look ahead to April. Plus, I'm probably driving everyone crazy with this self-narrating BS in my blog. April will shower you with more interesting reads, cross my heart.

That's Dallas looking under my top!

Next time I won't put my foot under the frame while I jack it up



Bringing some sass to this dirty manly job

Filthy! And the oil was pretty gross, too.



No wait, that's not right...

That's better!

Our oily faces

DUNZO! I most likely did something wrong and ruined my vehicle...

Going slightly off course

I began this 31-day challenge with the intentions of bettering my self, expanding horizons, and feeling good about something everyday. However, I'm kind of starting to see it as a commitment (read: burden) and I'm actually looking for loopholes on these goals that I created. What's the psychology there?! Anyway, still going, here's a recap.

#5: eBay sucks. And pwinters4702 is a total chauch. I had my adorable little iPod touch up for $100 (bought it like 6 months ago for $250, then got the iPhone). This seller uses the BuyItNow option which I set for $150, send me their address WITHOUT making a payment. So I send them an invoice. Now pwinters4702 is no longer a registered user... Scam much?! Ugh, people are terrible.

Who wants this? Make me an offer.

#6: Wrote my grammy a letter. Still haven't mailed it... 1/2 completed?

#7: Internet free day. This was a total cheat on my part since I was at a conference on regenerative medicine and in meetings all day. Granted I could have read RSS feeds and tweets on my phone, but I opted for Angry Birds instead, no internet necessary!



#8: Read a short story. Now this one I am proud of. Though it wasn't NECESSARILY a new genre, it did make me feel good since my roommate had written it. She is a recovering bioengineer who has switched gears for creative writing. Her story was really entertaining. I read it while I was sitting bedside with one of our artificial heart patients in the ICU. I was so into this story I actually started telling the patient about it and I think it made both of our nights, actually. The genre was like futuristic nonfiction with a side of government conflict and Armageddon, oh and love. So, yea, I'd call that new to me. Two thumbs up.

#9: Big Lebowski. No loopholes taken here. I watched with my main Dude, Dallas, and we enjoyed all things associated with the Big Lebo. Including hangovers and a slew of new quotables.

Your name's Lebowski, Lebowski.

You're out of your element, Donnie

Still going!

I bet everyone thought I quit my 31 day challenge on day 3, but I didn't!! After I posted the video of that band on day 2, I realized my blog has issues (the YouTube video was all resized and hanging out all over the place like a big fat mess). Therefore I completed another goal of updating the HTML on JN! I'm digging it, too. I used this high tech new imaging software called "Windows Paint" to make the graphics. And I referenced back to my freshmen engineering HTML notes to change the sizes and text stuff. Anyway, I've reestablished that I'm a coding genius, so that's kinda cool.

Then on Friday, I started a new art project. You know how when people talk about creative writing they are always like, "write what you know"? So I figure the same goes with art directions and sketching, n'at. So I sat there for a couple minutes with my sketch pad and Ticonderoga thinking about what I know. And what I know these days is, unfortunately, rats. So here's what I came up with:

My studio (aka. the floor of my room)



The background was inspired by a short-axis transthoracic m-mode echocardiogram... Right. Back to the challenge.

Today I posted my 8GB iPod Touch on Ebay. No one has viewed it yet. I probably did something wrong. Ebay is surprisingly hard to use, it took me forever to figure out how to sell something and once I figured it out, it was no small feat to actually get it listed. Oh well, hopefully someone contacts me soon, cause I'm over Ebay.

Going to see Jimbo's band tonite in Sliberty. Enjoy the rain, muffins!

2 down, 29 to go

Went to the hookah bar last night with Blink - saw some live music. 2 out of 31, check! So besides the fact that it was a total hippie weed fest, it was pretty rad. The band is called "The Velcro Shoes" and they were there with special guests Billy the Kid and The Regulators. Never heard of any of them ha! So that makes it a "new local band", right?! Not really my type of music though. Enjoyable, none the less. Ch-ch-check it out:



What should I do today??

Magic Trick (1 out of the 31)

I was starting to panic when it was 9pm and I still hadn't completed one of my 31 March goals. Luckily it was Tuesday and that's the night Micky and I go to karaoke. So I figured since I already bring my awesome voice to the bar, I might as well bring along a magic trick too, to further wow the clientele.

So I took to the internet and learned this little bar-pleaser:

I set a dollar on top of a beer bottle and top it with 4 quarters, then I say to some bar rat, "Hey do you think I can get this dollar out from under these quarters using only one finger??" To which drunk yinzer replies, "No way!! I'll bet ya $50 ya can't!" >>no money every changed hands<< Then I do this:



So ya know, it's an ok trick. Nothing to call Criss Angel about.

Had I been recording for longer, you would have been able to see me make that beer disappear...