Tuesday, July 1, 2008

Bono Fide

As I sit here entering clinical research data into a medical database, my mind casually wonders to events, conversations, arguments, and food stuffs of the past week. To name a few:

THE BURGLAR, THE BITCH, and THE BOTCHED DEGREE (aka my graduation party)

This little illiteration pretty closely sums up my college graduation party haha. Well I was home this weekend for a party in the honor of my high school graduate sister and me, the college grad. Freaking great party, really it was, but in retrospect there were some foul plays and some mysteries left unsolved.

INCIDENT #1 - FRIDAY NIGHT - Rowdy teens and instigating 20-somethings decide to "party like rap stars" by boozing and causing a raucus in my parent's hot tub. 3 hours, 2 cases, and myriad pruney body parts later the party moves into the house. I decide it's a good idea to beat my little sister with my college diploma that arrived in the mail that day. Ruined it. Damn. 4 years of engineering work for a piece of paper I destroy... This is why I'm hot.

INCIDENT #2 - SATURDAY AFTERNOON - I get word that my family is planning a relay race for me and my sister to compete in. Being the competive and uber creative competitor (competitive competitor?) I decide to go upstairs and plan out an outfit to distract Micky while also dazzling the crowd. After 30 minutes, I come down stairs decked out in leggings, tie died shirt and shorts, dread locks wig, Rocky Balboa headband, war paint, and shin guards. I strut my stuff downstairs acting cocky like I'm some sort of superhero... I see Micky and wave and she storms up to me, shoves me, and says "YOU RUINED MY PARTY!", "uh what?" I retort... She runs out of the room and I am left standing in front of all the guests looking like a complete tool. I changed.

INCIDENT #3 - SATURDAY EVENING - Some little punk stole money from my graduation gift box. Not alot but probably like 50 or so. Jerk.

NEXT THOUGHT ----> Why does everyone hate Bono?
Now I'm not going to go on and on about this but I would just like to make a point. Or, I guess, a counterargument to all those people who hate Bono cause he is humanitarian and coincidentally very famous.

If I stand on my little soapbox and say, "Hey all you people, get smart! Start taking care of the planet and she'll take care of you!" If I do that, some guy will just hand me a buck and say, "crack kills, kid, get yourself a coffee." INSTEAD, we let Bono do it and things actually are getting done! What's wrong with someone famous letting the word be heard?!? Ok, this is going too deep already, just wanted to make the point.

I am listening to Kimya Dawson right now on my new iTouch and I like this lyric:
"They think we're disposable, well both my thumbs opposable
Are spelled out on a double word and triple letter score"


My next blog will be a dateline-esque investigation of the Recycling Initiative in Pittsburgh.... or LACK THERE OF!

Till then, I am most sincerely yours ;-)


Craig said...

You may have been searching for the term "alliteration", but you serendipitously came upon "illiteration" which means: Any scattering of similiar sounds in sentences which are nonsensical, hence making them seem illiterate.

Origins: From illiterate.

So maybe it's fitting...

TakeWrning said...

Bono is obnoxious and overrated.
High school kids in the parents hot tub- ew
I never even opened my degree mail package. It only means something when you have to hang it in your cube. Then the ceiling might spray a cement like slurry and that and your FE certificate are trashed (like mine now are) Better just to lose it early on.

I'm impressed that you keep a dreadlock wig on hand.

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