Mamma Mia!

I think I am wearing a maternity dress today. I bought it at Old Navy last weekend and I know they have a maternity line. There's just alot more material than I am used to around the tummy region. Either way, I look stunning so whatever.

I have been seeing chick flick after chick flick since the old man's been away on vacation. Last night I watched August Rush, the night before was High School Musical, and my sister and I saw Mamma Mia in theaters on Sunday! I feel so spunky and upbeat!! And no MAN is ever going to get me down! Ugh, except this total creep job on the bus today. Now I know why some people carry around antibacterial hand stuff for riding the bus. I literally watched the guy pick a boogie, wipe it on the side wall of the bus and smear it all around. And when there was some still on his finger he moved on to wipe it all over the bus pole. And you can't just NOT hold on to the bus poles on the 54C since the driver's are loco. I need some Purell STAT!

So the past couple days I have been detoxing, and this time I was doing it right. I followed the Master Cleanse as recommended by Patrice and my sister, Carolyn. I did it for 2 full days and I really do feel great. I would have done it longer but I was losing energy like crazy. I'd read a chapter of an interesting novel (Cardiovascular Continuum Biomechanics) and then I'd just pass out for like 10 min. Maybe that was cause of the book... I really wasn't hungry though, despite not eating any solid food for 2 days and drinking only this concoction of lemon juice, maple syrup, and cayenne pepper. So I may continue this cleanse after crazy weekends or if I feel groggy. If I had done it for the whole 10 days, I could have lost 20 pounds! It's not easy though, I knew it was downhill for me when I learned about the saltwater flush. Good Lord, if there is a hell for me, I am sure it's lined with quarts of saltwater flush! This was absolutely awful. The point is that sea salt dissolved in lukewarm water is indigestible so it moves through your system cleaning things up and comes out pretty roughly. Now this process never followed all the way through for me....

The first night I did it, I pounded the drink with tears rolling down my face becuase it was awful. Anyone who knows me well knows I loathe the taste of salt, so the fact I was even doing this shows my committment to this damn cleanse. 1 quart (4 cups) of the saltwater and I was done, and dry heaving in the kitchen sink. So I layed on my right side, as instructed, and waited for the moment where it would come out. Welp, never happened, I guess my super gastric acids miraculously digested this stuff cause my digestive track was calm as a lamb all throughout High School Musical.

Next night, I did it again, a full quart of the nasty saltwater. This time I did it through a straw which was much better, so only shitty instead of god-awful. Haha, this story makes me laugh...I finish the flush, wipe the tears from my eyes, walk toward the living room to lie down, and immediately hurl up all 4 cups of it into my kitchen trash can. Thank goodness it was garbage night. I also assume I lost the only substance I had consumed that day cause my mouth tasted like lemon when I was done. Damnit. That's when I quit the cleanse and made dinner.