Is this Pink Eye?

Leap of Faith

It's been a rough week kids. I've gotten some pretty bad blows regarding the income situation but I'm working on it. So for now, that's all I wanna say. And I don't want to talk about it anymore.

SMILES!!! SMILES ALL AROUND!!

But what IS exciting is that I bought my first very own apartment! It was scary since my financial future is somewhat uncertain. But that's right, I got a nice little place that I can call my own. I'm so excited and i LOVE it! I start moving in April 15th (which is great cause my other lease ends on May 1). Here's what my plans are in the lovely new apartment:

- actually not suck at maintaining house plants
- decorate
* this will involve actually buying new furniture, YAY!
- set up an area where I can keep all my art supplies (not shoved in some corner) to reawaken my talented side
- get nice smelling candles and such and keep them lit

hmm.... does it sound like maybe I'm a little fed up with sharing a place with a boy? Haha, I kid, Craig was the bestest roomie and I hope he gets to stay around to have some time with me in my new place :-)

Here's some pictures in computer terms:

Fireplace and windows in living room:
-------------////////////////----------------
-------------////////////////----------------
-------------////////////////----------------
--{.......}--////////////////--{.........}---
--{.......}--////////////////--{.........}---
--{.......}--////////////////--{.........}---
--{.......}--////////////////--{.........}---
--{.......}--////////////////--{.........}---
--{.......}--//[.......]/////--{.........}---
--{.......}--//[.......]/////--{.........}---
--{.......}--//[.......]/////--{.........}---
----------//[.............]//----------------
----------//[.............]//----------------
----------//[.............]//----------------
----------//[.............]//----------------
----------//[...oooooo....]//----------------
----------//[..oooooooo...]//----------------

God I am so done with that, use your imagination for the rest.

Bad day for parking

I just couldn't get it right today. I left my house at 9:20 am to get to work to catch the 9:45 shuttle up to campus. Traffic was unavoidable and I was heading down Bates, crossing the street to my building at 9:40 when who comes barreling past me headed up the hill, but the 40A. Ya know, eff that driver. He leaves early from that stop everyday and it really sucks.

So I pull a 4-lane U-ey and basically trail him all the way back to campus. Of course there was no meter parking to be found so I had to park in the garage which cost 8 bucks. So freaking stupid.

I leave campus at like 1:30 to see some apartments and that was fun (more on the apartment situation later) and I parked my car outside my house by a meter. I put a quarter in and it only gave me 8 minutes when its supposed to give me 30. So I put another couple quarters in and left a note that the stupid meter is ripping me off. Welp, asshole parking police gave me a ticket (and took the note). The ticket was $11, bringing me to a $20 day of parking. What a waste.

The mousepad on my mac hasn't been working at all, it just like freezes, so I took my computer into the apple store and, of course, when I'm telling the trendy mac employee what my problem is, the mouse works good as the day I bought it. Typical. So he very "genius"-ly runs an update on my computer and basically tells me to get the hell outta there. Whatever, it's working now so I can't complain.

So all in all, it was a weird day. And work and money are stressing me out so I'm just so-so. Here's a video to remind me of better days (and show Beyonce what's up).

A Sci-Fi Story Break

Day in and day out, a beautiful princess would travel from her lovely home across mountains and rivers to her humble scientific research laboratory. Just like every other day, she entered the fluorescently-illuminated lab, rinsed her coffee cup of yester-residues, refilled, and carried on with the days tasks. When the digital clock tolled 6pm, like so many days before, she gracefully dislodged her ass from her swivel chair and departed for home.

This particular night, however, was like no other.... For you see, what the otherwise impeccably hygienic princess neglected to mention to anyone is that when she "rinses" her gilded UPMC mug, she is doing little more than splashing out leftover liquid. What harbored beneath was something much much worse. Something not prince nor pauper, not knight nor ogre, not samarai nor Karate Kid could have ever anticipated. On this night, something was born, yes BORN, right there in that coffee mug, and the fate of the beautiful princess and her lovely Land of Oak were in grave danger.

That evening, a force of pure evil erupted from the mug in a form that could only be described as fungal in nature. Lord Mocha-Molda had arrived, bringing with him a gang of Coffee-Mates who swore to act on their vendetta against the princess and her mighty weapon of running tap water. Destruction ensued that night and the caffeine charged vandals sacrificed nothing - they ran high and low to stain every important document the princess had ever produced. Satisfied with their work, the gang of java warriors returned to their hiding place at the bottom of the coffee mug.

The sun rose, yet again, and the princess greeted the day with a strange new feeling. She was tired, and tired she had been many times before, but this tired, this was a tired that was oh so new. As she showered and prepared for her daily journey she couldn't get past the extreme sleepy that had fallen upon her. When she arrived in her lab, she filled her mug as usual, unknowing to the fact that an army of cruel and toxic coffee militia were awaiting her to drink them in where they could launch an all out attack on her innards.

Just as our beauty was about to take her first ill-fated sip, she was interrupted by the charging in of a crew of shady figures dressed in full white suits.

"PUT DOWN THAT GOD DAMNED COFFEE MUG, LITTLE LADY" shouted the IACUC official, "DON'T YOU KNOW THAT FOOD AND BEVERAGE CONSUMPTION IS STRICTLY PROHIBITED IN LABORATORY ENVIORNMENTS???"

IACUC, or the Institution Animal Care and Use Committee, had unknowingly become the knights in white for our poor, rule-breaking, young researcher.

"WE ARE INCINERATING THIS MUG!" they shouted... "AND DON'T THINK WE DON'T SEE THAT CHIPOTLE BAG IN THE TRASH!"

Slightly embarrassed but thoroughly relieved to have lived to research another day, the princess laid a tender kiss on the cheek of IACUC official and assured him that no more snacks would be enjoyed in her laboratory.

And they lived happily ever after...

Back to the Blog (Part II)

Guys, I know I have been blog slacking. But that last one was a doozy and I just haven't had the time to commit to make another post of its caliber. When the bar gets raised too high for me, instead of shaming myself by falling just short, I usually like to fall WAY short and set a new, low ass standards bar (think slipped-disk-LIMBO-level type of low).

So I have to get Back to Work now, but here are some "Back to the Future" quotes I like to throw into random conversations and see if people pick up on the reference. Try it yourself:

"You're a slacker, McFly, just like your old man"

"Now we can watch Jackie Gleeson while we eat!"

"Mayor Goldie Wilson, now I like the sound of that!"

"You're my density"

"Get your ugly, yella, keister off my property before I pump your guts full of lead!"
(...hmm not the right movie, but equally quotable)

"Maybe you guys aren't ready for that yet, but your kids are gonna love it"

25

So I'm sure everyone has noticed the little facebook and blogger phase that's been going on where so and so shares 25 random little life tid-bits about themselves. Well that's all very fun and cute, but I think information should be *informational* ... call me crazy! I have thus opted to share 25 of my life lessons in hopes that they may, in some way, benefit you someday.

1. Never turn down anything that's free. For whatever dumb ass reason, when I bought my MacBook, I was like, "Nah, I don't need that free printer, the computer was enough of a deal! I already feel like I'm robbing you blind, Mr. Jobs!" I was an idiot.

2. Life's too short to deny yourself things that make you smile. This includes pizza, vacations, and beer.

3. Just because your friends enjoy your quirky innuendos doesn't necessarily mean that job interviewers will.

4. Don't ask questions at the end of lectures that you slept through. The speaker usually has 3 or 4 slides that covered that exact question.

5. If you find yourself in China. Don't go to the Summer Palace, it's a waste of time.

6. Don't post movies starring yourself on YouTube unless you are mentally prepared to be completely made fun of by strangers.

7. Always have a standby joke ready in case someone asks you to tell them a joke. For the life of me, when that happens on the spot, I act like I've never heard a joke in my whole life.

8. Write things down so you don't forget them. If I had a nickel for everything I forgot, I don't know how many nickels I'd have because I forgot.

9. Save your receipts. All of em. And keep in mind, people you rip off are probably saving their receipts too, so beware.

10. Don't pet Craig's dog, Roger. He mauled me in front of the whole family during our first meeting.

11. Avoid lending people pens or hairties - you won't get them back.

12. Don't miss out on opportunities just because you are afraid. I hate hate HATE flying on airplanes, but on average, I use them 10 times a year. Also, I stutter like a crazy person when I give presentations, but I would never turn down a chance to talk about my research.

13. I wouldn't recommend randomly surfing the web at work. I stumbled on one web site just as my boss came in to talk to me. I turned my chair to address him and when I turned back around toward my computer screen, the word "NEUROTIC" was flashing fluorescently in huge letters.

14. When someone on the street holding a microphone asks you how you feel about "the G7 conference on globalization" simply say, "I don't know what that is." Don't go on for 8 minutes trying to pull something out of your ass.

15. Never volunteer to work as a ghoul at a haunted house. Unless you are willing to lose a contact, sweat yourself stupid, and sit on a rusty nail.

16. If you are now or have ever been in the habit of double spacing after you end a sentence, I would suggest dropping it. Nothing matters less in the world of punctuation and it's a bitch when you have a space limit.

17. When someone promises you something important, always get it in writing. Don't wait to learn this the hard way.

18. If you drunkenly drop your phone (this can apply to cameras, too) and the battery comes out, IT IS NOT DEAD FOREVER. Do not throw it away.

19. Egg drop soup is not good. It looks and tastes like spunk (that's what I heard anyway)

20. Either always hit on 16 or never hit on 16. Blackjack is all about consistency.

21. Lying isn't worth the energy it takes.

22. As much as it sucks, when jeans are too old just throw them away. Don't chance accidental public rippage.

23. If Kid n Play stop you on the streets of Hollywood and perform a magic trick on you on live TV, pretend like you're impressed - don't just stand there and stare at them.

24. When you work a 9-5, search for a way that your work directly impacts people. It might be diluted, but it will make you happy to know. This may not apply to people who study rocks, I have no idea what good that does for mankind.

25. Approach life like you're waiting for a 54C. If you don't run out in front of it waving your arms around, it'll just pass right on by.