Jamie Neutron

Top Gunn

2012-01-02T18:00:00.006-05:00

I watched Top Gun last night. For the first time ever. Tom Cruise and Val Kilmer used to be so hot. And I'm sure they would agree since the homoeroticism of that movie was palpable. Also, "Take My Breath Away" is a very steamy song.

Now I am watching "Project Runway", where the homoeroticism comes from a different kind of gun. Tim Gunn! What a man. I am making my New Year's Resolution for 2012 to be more like Tim Gunn. He's sassy and classy, a critical thinker, fair and honest, and obviously super well-dressed. "Make it work!"

What are your resolutions?

Every Rose has its Thorn

2011-11-17T12:29:00.010-05:00

This title is not quite relevant. Sub in "TV Show" for "Rose" and "Annoying Character" for "Thorn" since that's really what I plan on discussing today.

First some logistics. This is my 96th post. A few more and I've reached the Century Club. Something special is going to happen in that post, my friends. Hang tight.

Moving on. I've become QUITE the TV junkie lately. Reasons for this are under speculation, but I think my insomnia, addiction to my computer, and slow night hospital shifts are to blame. Really, you should see this as a good thing... because if I wasn't a TV junkie, that would mean my hospital shifts were busy and that would mean patients were coding and dying and no one wants that!! So be happy that this is my life! You're welcome!

To paraphrase the great Redfoo of LMFAO, "I'm running through these [shows] like Drano". In the past two years I have started and finished or caught up on the following: Lost, Six Feet Under, Arrested Development, Sons of Anarchy, Hung (yes, Hung), Game of Thrones, Weeds, Breaking Bad, Dexter, The Walking Dead, and Mad Men... and I'm not even including the fluffy Thursday night line up, The Bachelor/ette Franchise, and Glee. So yea, it's been pretty intense.

You don't get through that much silver screen with out having some peeves. So I'd like to take this opportunity to list the top 5 characters I effing hate the most.

5. Deb (Dexter)

Deb is the first of 3 annoying characters who secretly love their brothers. WTF, ladies? Anyway, Deb sucks. Her potty mouth makes me cringe, are you sure that they exorcised you, Emily Rose?? Are you sure?? Cause it sounds to me like you still have some demons living in there. No wonder Dex was outtie on their marriage, I mean c'mon, even I know profanities aren't sexy.

4. Skylar (Breaking Bad)

Hey Skylar, you're like 45, why do you have a baby? And why are you such a C-U-Next-Tuesday? Your husband who is hot and a total BAMF is not only raking in mad dough for you and your hot crippled son, but he's also getting LOADS of street cred, which really is more than any woman could ask for. Wake up and smoke the meth, Sky!

3. Shannon (Lost)

I hate Shannon. I hate Shannon. I hate Shannon. I was so happy when she died. It's true, I grinned like a butcher's dog. If I was stranded on a mystical island with her, I would kill her. I would sacrifice her to the smoke monster faster than you could say, "live together die alone". And then I would sex it up with her brother Boone and her lover Sayid on top of her dead body. Yea, I hate Shannon.

2. Ryan P (The Bachelorette: Ashley's Season)

Whoooo lordy, was Ryan P ever a loser! Just look at his stupid face. I can't believe he made it as far as he did. Ashley is an idiot too, she signed her death warrant by giving him that first impression rose. Dumb dumb dumb. Oh well they both are out of their 15 minutes of fame, and you know what I say to that, GOOD RIDDANCE!

1. Brenda (Six Feet Under)

Brenda is the worst. Truer words have never been spoken. Nate Fisher was a cool dude before stupid effing Brenda. "Ohhh look at me, I have sexual relations with my crazy brother and I'm a genius and there's a stupid book written about me when I was a stupid kid and I give massages but really I'm a whoreee" UGH. I really hate Brenda, you guys.

Basically, I hate supporting actresses who give my men a hard time. Lay off, bitches. Let's finish this rant on a positive note.

JAX

Solution to an Age-old Problem

2011-09-27T10:55:00.007-04:00

First of all - my capitalization in this post title is all askew. Can someone put me in my place? "To" and "an" should not be capitalized, right? Should "old"? Even if it's a conjecture? What the hell is a conjecture? O well scru grammerz!

So this happens to everyone - you have a small chat, more like an interaction really, with a stranger at some establishment. It's nice, it's whatever. Maybe you discuss the food you just ordered, the loud crash that the busboy just caused, the weather. Some banal bullshit to pass the time while you wait for your everything bagel to crawl its slow ass through that rolling toaster.

You get your treat, bid your new acquaintance "farewell" and book it the hell out of there, cause let's be honest this place is so below you. But low and behold, your new pal just got his orange mocha frappaccino and is walking right behind you. "Ughhh", you mumble. Seriously, who doesn't cringe when this happens? You've already said goodbye, now you have to awkwardly walk next to each other like you don't even know each other is there. It's the worst.

Well this happened to me today. This happens to me alot, actually. I was at Panera pacing between the bakery and the restaurant deciding if I wanted breakfast or lunch (it was 10:45, what would you have done?!). I got both. Anyway, as I'm pacing around, I get in the way of this tall yinzer dude not once, but three times! By the third time we giggled about it and shared the obvious, "are you following me?!" stupid quip. I get my food stuffs, go to leave, and who's hot on my tails but my sandwich shop stalker. "Ha ha!" we both force out, and as he holds the door for me to leave, we exchange "have a good day!", "you too!" blah-de-blah.

Another audible "Ughhhh". He's walking right next to me in the parking lot. Mind you, I'm parked on the farthest side of the lot. Apparently, so is he. I'm feeling physically distressed by this point, I consider taking a knee to concede. But I grin and bear it, our shifty head movements show that we both know how lame and awkward this is. As we reach our cars, I start to panic, do I have to say goodbye again? Is it rude if I just take off??

But then, cool as day, in the perfect tone, with the perfect grace, my likeable yinzer solved this age-old problem. As he opened the door of his rusty flatbed, he said, "Go Stillers!"

...And that's how it's done.

Geeking Out

2011-07-21T11:48:00.002-04:00

I've been hella nerdy lately. I mean, more so than usual. Between the HP7.2 premiere party, my bioengineering softball team, and Ph.D. proposal writing, I have really lost any ground I've ever gained toward being cool. I don't hate it. Here are some things I want, to supplement my dorkdom.

For my swag:

(it's a ferrous wheel!)

In case you were wondering

2011-06-21T09:59:00.007-04:00

This is what I do all day.

I was going to make a sexy cool infographic, but as you can see, that's not part of my daily routine.

toodles.

Doesn't he totally look like...

2011-06-03T03:32:00.010-04:00

I haven't done any good comparisons in awhile.

Doesn't Adam Sandler totally look like Bob Dylan?

This has been done before, but really, doesn't Brad Pitt totally look like Robert Redford??

This one is so identical it is actually stupid. But thank the heaven's there are two men on earth that look like this. Doesn't Jeffrey Dean Morgan totally look like Javier Bardem?

And my forever favorite, doesn't my buddy Ravi totally look like Aziz Ansari??

...and again...

...and again.

Call for Posters

2011-05-16T00:25:00.009-04:00

Looking for a science fair project?! Of course you are! Basic science is not dead, comrades, and you don't need a trifold poster board to present data that people will want to see. Follow my lead and conduct some basic science this week. Make observations, formulate a hypothesis, test your predictions, and repeat. Or at least think about it?

I don't even know this kid. Maybe it's messed up to use this picture? He won though, must have biopsied dead vampires?

Here are my ideas for some science projects that are sure to earn a blue - or AT LEAST red - ribbon in the upper left hand corner of your floppy pastey poster.

1. Potty Preference
Everyone has been there, you enter a bathroom with like 4-6 stalls. Which do you choose? I would like to see someone run a randomized statistical study about the probabilities underlying toilet usage. Results could predict the sanitation levels and if they are uniform among the stalls, if they're not, maybe new cleaning protocols should be enforced? My guess is that usage follows a Gaussian distribution. After all, the first bathroom is probably gross cause that's the one people rush to when they really gotta go, and the last one is probably gross cause people figure its on the end and out of the way and more private. So the middle would probably be safest. But that's just one scientist's prediction.
This infographic took a long time to make

2. Don't Just Sit There!
With science fairs, and science in general, it's all about trends. You pick a topic that is trendy at the time, and throw in some buzzwords, and you're sure to see some blue. What's trendy now? The war against sitting. You've read the articles, everyone is talking about how sitting is the nation's newest killer. Whatever, standing can cause orthostatic hypotension, arthritis, and blood clots. Either way, do a project on sitting. Take some vitals on a set of study participants at the start of 30 days. Then write a computer program (where my engineers at?) that prompts the user to stand up and sit back down every 20 minutes. Track weight, blood pressure, cognition, sex drive, whatever over the month and see just how deadly sitting is. Ohh! Parallel study - test the increase in aggressive behaviors in those who are interrupted every 20 minutes versus those who are allowed to work in peace.

3. Hangover Helper
Can someone do this please? I'm dying for some empirical data to surface. Test different hangover remedies and debunk the ones that don't work. This is not trivial, folks. A lot of attention to experimental controls must be given. The level of drunk must be carefully monitored and kept uniform so the hangovers feel the same every time. I seem to have this down to an art, so feel free to include me as a co-author. My mom always refers me to greasy food (sometimes I even have some in my purse from the night before!), doesn't always cut it, though. I've heard that pregaming with Pedialyte is a new fix? I don't know, it's one of those questions that has rattled the very core of science for centuries. Screw the blue prize, this project has NOBEL in its future.

So there's some seeds for you to culminate. Make me proud, fledgeling scientists. I should start a grant program, in my honor.

Today's Post is Brought to you by the Letter:

2011-05-03T14:47:00.003-04:00

R for "revenge". Revenge has dominated my day today. Not by my actions, no no, I am passively pacifist, meaning no one cares about me enough to start any conflicts.

But, obviously, the news of the week regarding the murder of Osama Bin Laden has had people buzzing with emotion. Personally, I thought he was already dead? From where I stand though, I see two camps forming. The first camp, led by the Count of Monte Cristo is jubilant at the death of the mass-murderer. "Eye for an eye", I can hear them shouting as they storm cities with their torches. I get that, I do, god forbid one of my loved ones had died that day, I presume I would be incredible vengeful. Hard to say.

Then there's the other camp, led by Jesus Christ. Quoting Martin Luther King, Jr. on Facebook and spelling retaliation with a "wr" (get it, cause it's wrong?). They've turned the other cheek so many times, you'd think they had 247 cheeks. Ha, funny imagery. But in all seriousness, I understand this point too, I mean demanding justice shouldn't be the only way to grieve.

I don't take a side, and I certainly don't think that we are "safe" now. No sir, I think we may have just poured a giant bucket of wake-up water on the opposition. Hmm... I think we've been pouring water on Al Qaeda for quite awhile...

Anywayyyy so that's the first revenge-related happening of my day. Then when I was walking to school I was listening to a podcast about decapitation. Fun fact: Did you know that AFTER your head is entirely severed from your body, you have the ability to process pain and emotion for 4 SECONDS! This guy can chug a 40 in 4 seconds, think of all the other things that can be taken in in 4 seconds!

I guess that's it, but it is a lot to take in for one - otherwise pleasant - Tuesday. Oh, also, while I was waiting for my shuttle to take me to campus I found a bargain bookstore and bought, "The Expression of the Emotions in Man and Animals" by Charles Darwin. I bought it cause after my decapitation podcast, I was thinking about how the face demonstrates emotions and how they can still change after you're head is cut off, and how morbidly horrific that would be to see.

Anyway, HAPPY TUESDAY!

Toot

2011-04-29T00:34:00.002-04:00

I rarely toot my own horn. Especially regarding this whole science thing that I preoccupy my time with. But I just got word this week that 2 manuscripts I have co-authored were accepted for publication.

One in the Journal of Applied Physiology - I revised a mathematical model for determining strain energy of blood vessels.

The other in the Journal for the American Thoracic Society - I ran some statistics for a cardiothoracic surgeon working with pediatric heart disease.

Things are looking up. Haney, JL coming at ya.

Sorry that was stuffy as all get out. I'm still no where near as accomplished as this guy:

Perks of Not Sleeping

2011-04-25T00:30:00.001-04:00

Sunrise in Bethlehem.

Echo Chamber

2011-04-18T04:33:00.003-04:00

There was an article in Wired this month about this thing called the "echo chamber" effect. Naturally, as everything else, it got me thinking.

So the "echo chamber" effect is one of the many dangers of the internet age. It's the worry that people too commonly seek out like-minded peers to gather their daily dose of opinion and information. In doing so, they shut off new branches of thought and really just reinforce their own beliefs.

I am totally guilty of this.

If it's not alternative, progressive, or liberal in nature, I have not been hearing about it. I blame databasing and web personalization. You know, the whole, "if you liked ABC, you'll love XYZ". How does the internet know that I won't love PQRS if it never asked me about JKLM? Even Netflix tailors my movie selections based on my pre-programmed tastes. Not that I don't adore crime thrillers based on books, action/adventures starring Paul Newman, feel good romantic comedies, and witty independent dramas, but who does Netflix think it is for boxing me in? (I took those right off my Netflix home page, what happened to comedy and action as labels?) Sheesh, I need to widen my filters a bit.

If I had any spare time at all I would recode the algorithms of the internet to include, "you may like this if you gave it a try" types of suggestions. But I'm busy this week.

Lovely

2011-04-10T22:55:00.003-04:00

Found this picture of my mom on her wedding day. Stunning.

Good weekend. Good weather. Good company.

What to do about the to-do

2011-04-07T12:51:00.003-04:00

How do you accomplish things? Like a lot of things, that are important, and due on deadlines. Do you make TO-DO lists? I do, I can cross off blog for today, so that's a start. Do you multi-task? Do you feel like you give adequate attention to tasks that are rushed? Haste makes waste, ya know. I have been thinking this over for a couple weeks since I am juggling a hell of a lot right now. I've got my research, which I am trying to propose my thesis by the end of summer... stress. My "part-time" job at the hospital which I have been putting in like 25 hour weeks with overnights... insomnia. Then there's the cavalcade of side projects I get myself into... not necessary. Oh, and I am moving... sore. So I am in need of the most efficient mode of task management and processing. Here are some failed attempts.

We'll call this process the coffee pot, it's when I get barraged with things to stress over and I process them at a slow drip, but even after I feel like I covered it all, there's still this chunk of grounds in my head like I missed something, like I could soak more juice out.

Then there's the three's company approach where I will try to blend two seemingly dissimilar to-dos together in attempt to "kill two birds with one stone" (I should have called this approach that, oh well, I like John Ritter). THE PROBLEM with this technique is that the bigger you make a task, the more you have to do to accomplish it. Case and point: I was finishing my statistics final last year (task A) and working at the hospital (task B) and one of the CT doctors asked how much time I spend on statistics. "A significant amount", I retorted. Wham, bam, 3 months later I am in a statistics collaboration with him and his researchers that I have had to put countless hours into. Still haven't crossed that one off the old list. Oh, well I did hand in my final, so whatever, you get the point.

Blogging is an incredible waste of time. I have a ton of stuff to do. Just wanted to chat. Let me know what's worked/failed for you go-getters.

Nice socks.

Top 10 List of Men No Guy I Meet will EVER Live Up To

2011-03-29T12:03:00.018-04:00

It's true. We all know what we want in a guy, and these guys have it ad nauseum. Sorry to the other fellas out there who can only hope to fall in position #11.

#10. David Byrne

Not only is this vocal stunner a founding member of my number 1 all-time favorite band (Talking Heads), BUT he is so incredibly interesting that it literally tires me. I read the Talking Heads documentary a couple years ago, "This Must Be the Place" and I recommend it to TH fans and all music lovers out there. Fun fact: Byrne is also a total cycle enthusiast, he's been biking around NYC his whole life and actually writes a cycling column in the New York Times

#9. Conan O'Brien
Yep, I picked the jeggings picture. You all know why. What a talent. Really, this Conan character will go down with the best of em. Andy Kauffman, Johnny Carson, Kermit the Frog. I love him to pieces. My sister and I used to watch Late Night with Conan O'Brien after my mom thought we were sleeping. I blame him for my insomnia, and wit.

#8. Ira Glass
Another wonderful dude behind a desk, my man, Ira Glass. The voice of NPR and host of America's #1 podcast, "This American Life". If you haven't listened to the podcast, you are SERIOUSLY without. Download it free on iTunes, right now, do it. Or watch visually and instantly on Netflix. It's an incredibly well-produced and informative radio show (something we TV junkies have lost appreciation for). So light your pipe, sit in your armchair with a dog at your feet, and turn on the ole speaker box for tonight's show!

#7. Sanjay Gupta
It's no myth that chicks dig the white coat. And my guess is Sanjay looks pretty good underneath it too! "Paging Dr. Gupta" is a terrific blog. It provides introspective questions, global relevance, and medical know-how at a level appropriate for the American public. God bless you, Dr. Gupta... now let's make out.

#6. Jack Shephard
Hey look, another medicinal man! Ok ok, so Jack isn't real. Not since the island kept him for itself, anyway. But this man is a powerhouse, a leader, a prophet. All that, "live together or die alone" stuff, wooo wee. Even Matthew Fox could never live up to those cahonies.

#5. Mario Lemieux
Pittsburgh-phile, hockey great, philanthropist, friend. Well he's not my friend, per se, but I don't see why he wouldn't be? He saved the Pens from moving out of Pittsburgh, tried to save the Pirates from the stank hole they are currently in, and saves lives through his cancer outreach initiatives. And cute to boot! Every girl loves a hockey booty.

#4. Anderson Cooper
Wooo, this one got a big smooch from the sexy fairy. Which also coincidentally convinced him to become a fairy. Eh well, if there's just 1 out of these 10 that I have no chance with, I suppose I am ok with that. His face and voice alone are untouchable by terrestrial beings, but then he's so intelligent and aware and altruistic. Plus, his mom is a designer, FABULOUS!

#3. SmarterChild
From Paul Davidson on Wired.com
How is SmarterChild so smart? Rly? Like WTF? asl, SmarterChild?? Too bad, the bots gone now though :-( replaced by that bitch, GossipinGabby.

#2. Dr. Christiaan Barnard
Now, granted, when Dr. Barnard performed the first ever successful heart transplant surgery in South Africa, you could basically put anything in anyone at any time under the poor state of medical regulations. BUT STILL, what a pioneer. How brave and confident. He set into motion a fascinating field of transplant surgery that would eventually give birth to my field! Yay for mechanical device implantation!

#1. Paul Newman.
Kill me, I can barely look at this. Swoon.
My heart just skipped a beat. Paul Newman was all American, all brawn. He's played a cowboy, a con man, even a hockey player. Nothing not to love. I like this quote, "If Marlon Brando and James Dean defined the defiant American male as a sullen rebel, Paul Newman recreated him as a likable renegade". He was such a sweetheart right up to his death in 2008. He stayed besties with Robert Redford (who's aging about as gracefully as a $5 pizza). And he also tops my "list of dressings no dressing will ever live up to"
Pour it on, honey.

But of course, as Frenchy so eloquently puts it in Grease, "The only man a girl can trust is her daddy".

Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to take a cold shower.

Lil bit butch, lil bit bitch

2011-03-26T18:58:00.006-04:00

By no fault of my own, I have really been blowing off my 31-day challenge. It's not that I gave up, it's just that things have come up - like work, like school, like karaoke nights. I did have drinks with my mamma:

I also had a slumber party (sort of) with my BFFs from home, and learned how to file my taxes online from my old man. But I will get to the other things when I get to em. Yesterday I doubled up with the "do something manly" and "do something girly" goals.

Firstly, I changed my own damn oil! Dallas (the manliest guy I know), gets a point for the assist. Actually, he gets all of the points, I did some stuff but I was basically there for his entertainment. He sent me to Advance Auto Sharts to get the supplies and I literally just showed them the text he sent me and paid for what they gave me. Then I got beers and changed into some manly attire and got er dun! Afterwards I washed up and had a killer girls' night. So on that note, I think I'm gonna give a nice GOOD RIDDANCE to this challenge and look ahead to April. Plus, I'm probably driving everyone crazy with this self-narrating BS in my blog. April will shower you with more interesting reads, cross my heart.

That's Dallas looking under my top!

Next time I won't put my foot under the frame while I jack it up

Bringing some sass to this dirty manly job

Filthy! And the oil was pretty gross, too.

No wait, that's not right...

That's better!

Our oily faces

DUNZO! I most likely did something wrong and ruined my vehicle...

Going slightly off course

2011-03-13T19:37:00.008-04:00

I began this 31-day challenge with the intentions of bettering my self, expanding horizons, and feeling good about something everyday. However, I'm kind of starting to see it as a commitment (read: burden) and I'm actually looking for loopholes on these goals that I created. What's the psychology there?! Anyway, still going, here's a recap.

#5: eBay sucks. And pwinters4702 is a total chauch. I had my adorable little iPod touch up for $100 (bought it like 6 months ago for $250, then got the iPhone). This seller uses the BuyItNow option which I set for $150, send me their address WITHOUT making a payment. So I send them an invoice. Now pwinters4702 is no longer a registered user... Scam much?! Ugh, people are terrible.

Who wants this? Make me an offer.

#6: Wrote my grammy a letter. Still haven't mailed it... 1/2 completed?

#7: Internet free day. This was a total cheat on my part since I was at a conference on regenerative medicine and in meetings all day. Granted I could have read RSS feeds and tweets on my phone, but I opted for Angry Birds instead, no internet necessary!

#8: Read a short story. Now this one I am proud of. Though it wasn't NECESSARILY a new genre, it did make me feel good since my roommate had written it. She is a recovering bioengineer who has switched gears for creative writing. Her story was really entertaining. I read it while I was sitting bedside with one of our artificial heart patients in the ICU. I was so into this story I actually started telling the patient about it and I think it made both of our nights, actually. The genre was like futuristic nonfiction with a side of government conflict and Armageddon, oh and love. So, yea, I'd call that new to me. Two thumbs up.

#9: Big Lebowski. No loopholes taken here. I watched with my main Dude, Dallas, and we enjoyed all things associated with the Big Lebo. Including hangovers and a slew of new quotables.

Your name's Lebowski, Lebowski.

You're out of your element, Donnie

Still going!

2011-03-05T18:35:00.005-05:00

I bet everyone thought I quit my 31 day challenge on day 3, but I didn't!! After I posted the video of that band on day 2, I realized my blog has issues (the YouTube video was all resized and hanging out all over the place like a big fat mess). Therefore I completed another goal of updating the HTML on JN! I'm digging it, too. I used this high tech new imaging software called "Windows Paint" to make the graphics. And I referenced back to my freshmen engineering HTML notes to change the sizes and text stuff. Anyway, I've reestablished that I'm a coding genius, so that's kinda cool.

Then on Friday, I started a new art project. You know how when people talk about creative writing they are always like, "write what you know"? So I figure the same goes with art directions and sketching, n'at. So I sat there for a couple minutes with my sketch pad and Ticonderoga thinking about what I know. And what I know these days is, unfortunately, rats. So here's what I came up with:

My studio (aka. the floor of my room)

The background was inspired by a short-axis transthoracic m-mode echocardiogram... Right. Back to the challenge.

Today I posted my 8GB iPod Touch on Ebay. No one has viewed it yet. I probably did something wrong. Ebay is surprisingly hard to use, it took me forever to figure out how to sell something and once I figured it out, it was no small feat to actually get it listed. Oh well, hopefully someone contacts me soon, cause I'm over Ebay.

Going to see Jimbo's band tonite in Sliberty. Enjoy the rain, muffins!

2 down, 29 to go

2011-03-03T14:08:00.002-05:00

Went to the hookah bar last night with Blink - saw some live music. 2 out of 31, check! So besides the fact that it was a total hippie weed fest, it was pretty rad. The band is called "The Velcro Shoes" and they were there with special guests Billy the Kid and The Regulators. Never heard of any of them ha! So that makes it a "new local band", right?! Not really my type of music though. Enjoyable, none the less. Ch-ch-check it out:

What should I do today??

Magic Trick (1 out of the 31)

2011-03-02T13:18:00.004-05:00

I was starting to panic when it was 9pm and I still hadn't completed one of my 31 March goals. Luckily it was Tuesday and that's the night Micky and I go to karaoke. So I figured since I already bring my awesome voice to the bar, I might as well bring along a magic trick too, to further wow the clientele.

So I took to the internet and learned this little bar-pleaser:

I set a dollar on top of a beer bottle and top it with 4 quarters, then I say to some bar rat, "Hey do you think I can get this dollar out from under these quarters using only one finger??" To which drunk yinzer replies, "No way!! I'll bet ya $50 ya can't!" >>no money every changed hands<< Then I do this:

So ya know, it's an ok trick. Nothing to call Criss Angel about.

Had I been recording for longer, you would have been able to see me make that beer disappear...

31

2011-02-28T01:32:00.011-05:00

So if it's true that 30 days has September, April, June, and November, than that must mean that March has 31 days. 31 days. That's a good chunk of time to accomplish lots of things. However if I think back on the last 31 days, and the 31 before that, I realize I haven't completed entirely too many noteworthy accomplishments... key word: noteworthy, something I can be proud of for myself.

Hence, I am starting a 31 day challenge for myself (and I hope to inspire yinz to try something similar). I composed a list of 31 things that I would be proud of myself for, with the intention of checking one off the list every day. These aren't big things, and this is by no means a bucket list since I hope not to die in the next 31 days. I'll blog daily blurbs to let you know how it's going and to hold some accountability for myself.

Without further ado, here's the dirty thirty (one), in no particular order:

Watch a black and white movie
Volunteer somewhere
Call a friend and talk for more than an hour
Read the New York Times from cover to cover
Write and mail a letter to my Grammy
Do something manly
Do something girly
Go see a new local band
Start a new artistic project
Go through all of my clothes and give away what I don't wear
Update the HTML code of my blog
Cook something challenging
Explore a new Pittsburgh neighborhood, on foot (or bike)

... damn, 31 is a lot ...

Sketch a self-portrait (ugh)
Play a game of real, non-computer chess with a real, non-computer person
Buy a new CD, from a record store
Have a slumber party with my best friends from home
Have one internet-free day (iPhone included, notifications OFF...email allowed)
Read a short story in an entirely new genre
Eat a new food for every meal one day
Get my favorite pictures printed and make a physical album
Watch "The Big Lebowski" (never saw it)
See a local play
Play an outdoor sport
Have a drink (or two) with my mom
Learn something new from my stepdad
Learn a magic trick
Sell something on Ebay (never did this before and I don't need my iPod no mo')
Skype with someone >500 miles away
Go on a hike
Learn how to count to 31 in 5 languages... why not?!

Bahh, I kinda regret this already. It's going to be a busy month. Bring it.

Yours,
J

Method Audience

2011-02-21T15:55:00.008-05:00

You may be familiar with method acting. It's when performers completely envelop themselves into the role they have taken on to bring a very real and believable portrayal. One big time method actor is the always lovable and eloquent: Christian Bale.

Such a sweet guy

Other greats include Pacino, Daniel Day-Lewis, and my main man Robert De Niro.

I bring this up because like my peers that I just mentioned, I also envelop myself for movies... but as the viewer. Around 3 am this morning as I was finishing "Shutter Island" during a particularly slow night at the hospital, I came to terms with the fact that the movie had made me a conspiracy theorist (and perhaps a manic). And I got to thinking... every time I watch a good movie it completely consumes me for about a month. Happened with Inception last month - I read articles online, I referenced it in conversation several times a day, I drew out elaborate diagrams to address hidden movie themes (this is where the manic part comes in). And I wanted to remember the first time I let this happen. And I think it was with "The Deer Hunter". I saw this for the first time about 3 years ago (it's actually what started my De Niro kick), and I didn't sleep, I just thought about it, and went over the situations in my head and put myself in it:

I plan on watching "The Deer Hunter" after I finish this post

But it's not just movies, I did it with "Lost" too. Granted I did watch the entire 6 seasons in a two month span. I talked to John Locke in my dreams and hallucinated the Smoke Monster as I crossed the Birmingham Bridge. Going on my family vacation to Aruba was probably the worst way to get over my obsession. Things just seemed off on that island...

Well I guess it wasn't all bad...

Bwahaha! I had to, I miss Sawyer.

I suppose I just have an addictive personality, or mild to moderate delusional tendencies.

Who loves ya, baby?

2011-02-14T10:10:00.012-05:00

Happy Valentine's Day, lovers! This is my first single Valentine's Day in a long while! And I don't hate it ;-) It's a lovely day in Pittsburgh and I actually woke up at a decent hour and had a nice breakfast. Life is sweet.

So let's address the large, pink-heart-clad elephant in the room. I realize I haven't blogged in over a fortnight. More like 10 fortnights (it means 14 days, I looked it up). Apologies, I needed inspiration and I have finally found it.

I realized that all I do is read other people's opinions, all day. Seriously, all day. Routine: Wake up, cook 2 eggs over-easy, two pieces of turkey bacon, and 2 pieces of wheat toast (I really do this every morning) all the while reading the latest stories on NYtimes.com. Then I get to work and read all of my RSS feeds (gossip blogs, music blogs, science blogs, blog blogs). Then I do some work, -break-, read some Facebook newsfeeds, more work, chain email with my friends. By this time there are new RSS feeds to read and so it goes.

So no wonder I have the "Who am I?" feelings and "Why am I here". It's because I haven't been in touch with my silly ole self in a long while. That's the deepest psychoanalysis I'll go into, ever, I promise.

So my solution to this dilemma has been that I keep a journal now. It's a dope moleskine journal identical to the one Hemingway kept. Not comparing myself to Ernie in the slightest, I'm sure the context of our entries differed immensely, but at least the covers are the same, ya know - for those who judge by that kind of thing.

Also, I have returned to the blogosphere. I will try to blog weekly and will also try to increase my followers (on twitter too - JamiePGH).

OK, now on to the content...

VALENTINE's DAY!

I'd like to pleasantly reflect on my great romantic loves. I dislike when people grow bitter about love lost and failed relationships. I loved being in love and I'm thankful for how I have grown from my guys! I have had 2 great romantic loves, totally different from each other but equally memorable. To protect the innocent, we'll use pseudonyms: "Foot" and "Chin" should suffice.

Anyway, when relationships expire... we take away memories, some so happy they make us sad. We take away advice on how to approach the next serious relationship. And probably most importantly, we take away jewelry.

From Foot: Not a wedding band, luckily. But Tiffany's ;-)

Chin: This set gets me more compliments than anything else

Freshwater pearls from Foot, love em

I'm not materialistic, this stuff means a lot to me, which is why I still treasure it! Lately my most valued piece of jewelry is a simple silver chain that I wear with everything. It came from a dear, dear friend who was cleaning out his mother's jewelry box after she passed away a few months ago. So I am thinking about my friend and all my other cherished loves today :-)

Love to my D.P.'s

So keep your head's up, my singlita's, life is swell! DO NOT watch P.S. I Love You today, don't do it to yourself! Watch Rocky I, II, and III, then go to bed. The end. And smile.

Urban Homestead

2010-06-24T01:36:00.004-04:00

So I know that I am completely annoying with all this gardening stuff, but its just so wonderful and I want to share. I promise I'll be back to my witty rants soon, but for the summer, just bear with me.

Check out my progress. I'm updating often and harvesting and eating my produce and its all been so great so far. Yay!

Plot layout:

Back wall - cherry tomato plants, strawberry pot, and blueberry pot (which sucks)
---------------------------------------------
---------------------------------------------
---tomato---tomato---pepper---pepper--
---------------------------------------------
---peas-----peas-----basil----basil---
---------------------------------------------
---spinanch-spinach--green onions-----
---------------------------------------------
---onions---onions---romaine lettuce--
---------------------------------------------
---carrot---carrot---cucumbers--------
---------------------------------------------
---------------------------------------------

05/21/10
06/14/10
06/16/10
06/20/10

Let there be LIFE

2010-04-27T18:17:00.004-04:00

And on the seventh day...

Not really, this is more like the 20th day, but still. I have created LIFE! Check out the pictures for the status of my vegetable gardening adventure. I have indoor seedlings going for: cherry tomatoes, regular tomatoes, leaf lettuce, chives, cucumber, bell peppers, and jalapeno peppers and outdoor seedlings for: leaf lettuce, snap peas, spinach, onions, chives, and carrots!

Are you not entertained?!?

My indoor seedlings have spunk, I think ;-)

Flowers brighten everybody's day :-) I bought these on Liberty Ave. and transplanted them to pots in the backyard

My delightful patch of love - peas are in the back left and leaf lettuce is in the front right, the others are little still, but they're there!

Cultivate your mind and the rest will follow

2010-04-08T09:39:00.003-04:00

Apologies for the cheesy title. I'm getting bored with creating witty blog titles.

I LOVE MY GARDEN! There isn't any life in it yet, hell there's not even any seeds. But what there is - is topsoil and cow dung! Hooray! This completes Phase 2 of the summer garden extravaganza. Yesterday I turned over all of the soil (which was hard and gross looking and contained logs for some reason). I used a technique that I learned in my gardening class called double digging. Basically, you dig out a 1'x1' tunnel and move the dirt somewhere outside of the plot, but save it for later. Then you add topsoil into the hole. Next you dig out another tunnel right next to the first tunnel and use the new displaced soil to fill the first tunnel. Get it?!? And it goes on until you only have one tunnel at the other end of you garden and then you use the soil you set aside in the beginning to fill that hole. It was painful. My back, arms, and abs are killing me!

Then Ann came over and was my little helper. We poured topsoil and cow manure on top of everything and then just cultivated for about an hour: breaking up big clumps, moving everything around. Finally we installed a snazzy little brick perimeter. and Voila!! Craig and I now have a garden plot ready to go!

Peas are going in tonite. And I will start my seedlings for tomatos and peppers and some other stuff.

Double Digging

Finished Project!

Garden Project: Phase 1

2010-04-04T14:39:00.005-04:00

I realize this is probably not the most interesting or witty of my posts - but I have found a passion... And it is in the form of a small 6'x6' plot of dirt. After taking my gardening class and committing myself to create life (botanically speaking) I sought out on a summer-long journey into horticultury.

The canvas: my new backyard. More specifically the plot of grass where a shed used to sit before we owned the house.

The challenge: create a vegetable garden.

Phase 1 - Transform the grass-covered plot into a fertile nursery for my babies (ie. crops) to thrive.

It took 2 days (about 5 hours which converts to a 6 pack of Lionshead), using a weeding tool no larger than a fork and Craig, who has a surprisingly green thumb, to complete Phase 1. Please enjoy the accompanying photos and get psyched for Phase 2 when we travel to CULTIVATION NATION!

This is your brain

2010-03-25T11:04:00.002-04:00

I am young, I don't do drugs, I am pursuing an intellectually demanding career in biomedical engineering, I have no history of mental illness, I have smart friends, I've never had head trauma... so why the hell is my brain so dumb?

It's not like one event happened that made me realize my brain is dull, but everyday I notice a little fuzziness of thought - and it wasn't like that before. Man, in my prime (ya know when I was like 20 or 21, not the ancient 23 I am now) I was such a smart little whip. Answering questions in class, challenging philosophical systems, reading science for leisure. The closest thing I've done to science lately is bought a Ford Fusion...

Research is slow, slow, slow and I think its slowing my brain down. I haven't donned latex gloves in over 3 months! Plus I find myself doing stupid stuff - today I wanted to mail a letter at work and instead of putting it in the mail slot, I put it in the dumpster next to the mailbox. Stupid.

So I have identified my issue - dullness of a once witty brain. And unlike other schmucks who are okay with letting the dullness ride, I took a proactive defensive route. Over the past month I have engaged myself in brain-builders. Nothing related to science, of course, let's build up to that. I took a cooking class, a gardening class, and ceramics classes. LOVED THEM! Starting my garden will take a lot of brain strength - I'll have to plan out what veggies go where, how to keep pests out, and most importantly how to make room for cornhole.

Engineers love the Steelers

2010-01-26T12:11:00.005-05:00

I haven't blogged since November 19th! That's so messed up of me. Alot has happened since then:

The calendar has changed from 2009 to 2010

Well that's pretty much it. The Steelers didn't make it to the playoffs this year and the Olympics haven't started yet so life's been slow. I have a plan for an epic upcoming blog, but it will have to wait. For now, enjoy this feat of Matlab code that demonstrates the boredom that an engineer feels in the absence of exciting football.

CODE:
%Jamie Haney
%January 2010
%GO STILLERS

clear all
clc;

phi=-2*pi:0.01:2*pi;
a=8;
b=2;

x1=(a-b)*cos(phi)+b*cos([(a-b)/b]*phi); %hypercycloid
y1=(a-b)*sin(phi)-b*sin([(a-b)/b]*phi);

x2=x1+10;
y2=y1-10;

x3=x1;
y3=y1-20;

plot(x1,y1,'y',x2,y2,'r',x3,y3,'b')

Pittsburgh: City of Champions

2009-11-19T09:43:00.002-05:00

God bless this city, ya know? And not for our technology, sports, or medicine... no, God bless the freaking weirdos I get to see on a daily basis.

I swear I'm on a candid camera show right now. This large black woman rolls into Caribou coffee, sits at a 2 person table with this poor sorority girl who's working on her Econ homework that's probably taken her a week and a half. SHE LIGHTS UP A CIGARETTE (I kid you not), catches on to the inappropriateness and heads outside. When she returns she asks this other girl where she got her boots cause they're "kick" (whatever that means). Then she shouts, "u think they have 'dose in a 14?" haha, love it. The girls all awkward and says, "I'm sure they do".

She's gone now :-(

Back to work.

Not helpful...

2009-10-26T15:09:00.004-04:00

So I am realizing that many times when people are trying to be helpful, they turn out to be a big pain in the ass. And you can't blame them, but really it's just annoying. I do it all the time - try to be nice and fail, this is what I realized today.

I am always in the habit of holding the door for people. They don't need to be old, or handicapped, or right behind me - basically, if they are human and in my periphery, I hold the door. So today I realized how rude I am for doing this. People like their own pace... say, for example, it's a Monday, start of a week, you have your coffee and bagel and you are casually walking into work. But, oh crap, here's some ass 50 yards ahead holding the door. Better run! Better spill your coffee and get schmear on your hand just so this person feels like they are helping! Not helpful.

I find it very nice to allow pedestrians the right of way. I try to do this every opportunity I get. But guess what, not helpful. Scenario: you are walking from class or work or what have you and you are about to cross a 4 lane street. Oh how nice, this freckle-faced girl in her car is waving for you to pass in front of her. Better get to walking! Oh whoops, looks like the other cars didn't share this girl's same thought and you are now dodging vehicles in the middle of the road. Whoops! Not helpful.

Do the right thing. Just look out for #1.

Death of Androgyny

2009-09-04T09:19:00.006-04:00

I was riding the terribly nauseating 40A shuttle to work this morning when to my delight, "Killer Queen" came on the radio. I smiled and giggled a little into my Starbucks cup while I thought to myself, "this bus driver is tooootally not a Killer Queen..." And my thoughts just flew on from there. I began thinking how pop music and pop culture today are so preoccupied with black and white terms of sexuality that there's no more of that crazy, freaky deaky, androgyny anymore.

Rock gods like Freddie Mercury, David Bowie, Morissey, Prince, etc. were never really questioned about their sexuality; at least not in the way pop stars are today. Of course, there was speculation regarding who was sleeping with who and which ass the coke was being snorted off of but most of the time the ambiguity just passed over the heads of their loyal following. Though Freddie Mercury was quoted saying things like, "I am as gay as a daffodil, dear" and sleeping with nearly every thing that moved, it wasn't until he died of AIDS that his homosexuality became the focal point of his character. The other guys (Bowie, Morissey, Prince) have managed to escape today's labels and most likely have a past clouded with mixed sexual episodes that even they couldn't define.

Now I don't know if the music and the aura of this time reached its level of spectacular because of the ambi-sexual undertones or if they were just a plus. But anyone can agree that this level of performance and character is clearly absent from today's music scene.

I mean, granted, you have your "Scissor Sisters" and your "Of Montreal" but these aren't the blockbuster bands that changed history with their power ballads. Instead the front runners are either tittay and ass-loving hip hoppers or teary-eyed teenagers. And just to be clear, side-bangs and guyliner DOES NOT an androgynous rock god make...

Let's talk Adam Lambert for a few lines...

So I like this guy alot, he's got the pipes and the look to correspond with this lost art of androgyny I'm speaking of. And it doesn't hurt that he's dabbled in drag, either. He has that glammed-out Elvis Presley look that I think is really original. Too bad the second he hit star power, the tabloids and news shows went on an all out witch hunt to out him as homosexual. He clearly wasn't hiding his sexuality, the dude has facebook pics of him making out with drag queens, but for whatever reason the press NEEDED him to state, "Yes, I am gay." This literally consumed the tabloids for months. LGBT advocates (I'm thinking specifically of Perez Hilton here) spoke that Glambert "shouldn't be ashamed" to come out and should "join the movement". I'm under the impression, what's another gay pop singer gonna do to help the movement? Ambiguity in this case would have been funner. Adam should have held out.

It's not the flamer performers that need to come out to send a message, it's the doctors and lawyers and business executives (Weeds reference, anyone?).

But anywayyyy... moving on. So we have Glambert as our most androgynous pop star?? Really?! That's as good as it gets? He's more "Fall Out Boy" than boy/girl. Who else?

There's Rhianna - she's taking some edgy steps in the right direction:
But its too inconsistent, sometimes she's a pop princess.

Gaga is kind of androgynous, she is after all speculated to be a hermaphrodite:
But she's been quoted many time saying how she loves the peen, so not questionable enough for me.

So basically, I am using the death of androgyny as a means to explain why pop music today is lackluster and trite. Maybe there's a correlation, probably not... Even the new indie movement is more lumberjack, bearded dudes or flourescent-clad hipsters. Where's the Mick Jaggers?? The Elton Johns?

Who do you think is the most androgynous pop performer today? Do you think music is taking a hit because performers feel the need to be politically correct and pick a side? Comment!

Tell me what's your Fan-ta-ta-sy?!

2009-09-01T10:53:00.007-04:00

Ugh, I hate that I picked that title - song's gonna be in my head all day...

Anyway, happy September, everyone! It feels like fall already here in Pittsburgh - the air at a crisp 42 with talks of Halloween, dem Stillers, and... Fantasy Football! I've never participated in the excitement of FF outside of a few family pick'ems (which I won in 2007, thank you kindly) but this year I'm really gonna go for it.

I've signed up for one league but I'm gonna see if I can get in on a couple more while I'm feeling HOT! First things first though - learn what the hell fantasy football is.

I hope you learn a thing or too, as well. My goal for this blog is to provide you (and me) the business savvy, football knowledge, and competitive strategy to impress even the beefiest of football meat-heads this winter. Hoo-raa!!

Ok, let's start with the basics. FF is a way of using actual team and individual performances in a virtual environment where you control the team setup and starting lines. So ideally, having all the best players starting every game would rack in some serious points. But like real life, it's not that easy - there's first a draft where you have to pick your team in rotation and allow other competitors their choices as well. Also, huge letdowns like injuries can really throw off your strategy. Ooohh, starting to get interestingggg ;-)

FUN FACT: Did you know that fantasy football was originally created by an associate of the Oakland Raiders in 1962 and it was called: GOPPPL which stands for Greater Oakland Professional Pigskin Procrastinators League. Haha, I like it, I think I'll call my team that. DON'T STEAL IT!!

Let's address some drafting FAQ's shall we?

1. How do you get placed for your draft position?
Well, different strokes for different folks. Usually you'd have a "draw straws" kind of method or random order. But it can vary by professional clubs or groups of friends. Also tricky players can trade their draft positions for leverage later in the season.

2. What draft positions are the best?
You'd think that 1st pick is the holy grail of fantasy football drafts, and it basically is, but there are exceptions. For example, if you're in a group of 12 and you don't get first nab, you're better off at the end. Here's why - picks go in what I will call "slithery snake" rotation. First through 12th, then back again, so 12th gets 2 picks in a row. And in the first round, these will still be great players and basically equal is skill.

Next topic - picking your boys.

Now this is where the serious research comes in (much more serious than the biomedical research I should be doing now...), time to analyze the available resources. Now, I will say that the amount of time and energy going into these resources is beyond laughable, and there's a ridiculous number of websites dedicated to this. So here are my favorites for me, a first timer:

1. Fantasy Football Calculator - These guys are so so in love with this. They make mock drafts for every possible scenario you could find yourself in. 3rd pick in a 12 person league, 50th position in a 430 person league, etc. You can print some of these out to see what the "professionals" did in your situation.

2. Who doesn't like cheatsheets? I love em! Try this site of cheatsheets of all the players rankings and projected FF points.

3. I hate FOX, but they have a pretty sweet draft guide going on right now. Check it out.

You must keep in mind 3 things regarding the offseason when picking your team: What offseason trades have happened to benefit the team? Did your team have a good NFL draft? Who is or was injured on your fantasy football team?

See, I told you this was serious.

This all depends on the type of game you're in too. There are Salary Cap leagues where you act as an owner and can only spend an allotted amount of money on your team (or embezzle it and sell all your good players like the Pirates).

Next up - scoring and impressing your friends:
Here's a sample scoring guide I found online

Here's where the strategy comes in. Each week you pick your starting line and rack in the points throughout the week. Trades are allowed, and encouraged. Pay attention to the players and team news and if you feel like it, you can watch the actual games. I think they show them on Sundays?

Basically, there's a sick amount of information to make you a proficient "Pigskin Procrastinator", but hopefully, what I've provided here helps.

Final Tips:
1. Bring an outdated list of suggested draft picks to lend to the wandering pair of eyes sitting next to you. Haha, evil.

2. Never draft a backup QB that has the same bye week as your starter, it defeats the purpose of drafting him and pegs you as a total amateur.

3. It's much more important to get your third RB before a kicker. Draft your best picks first, not in the typical order (QB, RB, RB, WR, WR, TE, K, D, QB, RB, RB, WR, WR, K).

4. Trade wisely, and often. Even at the draft consider trading your next 2 picks for a higher pick.

5. Use your last picks to take chances on rookies or sleepers.

You all owe me for being so informative.

I'll keep you posted throughout the season on how my team's looking.

20 Facts about the G-20 Summit

2009-08-26T11:26:00.011-04:00

Good day Pittsburghers! That phrase has 20 letters and starts with G. Hmm... know what else is made up of 20 characters and starts with G?? OH!! The G-20! For some unknown reason, the Group of 20 (or G-20) is hosting their annual summit here in Pittsburgh, PA. Like many Pittsburghers, I was coming down from my Super Bowl/Stanley Cup Championship high when I got word that the city would again be in the national press. But I couldn't conceal my WTF-esque attitude toward this new, much more political "win" of ours. Smiles on the faces of city officials hinted to me that this was, in fact, a good thing; but my ignorance on the meaning of G-20 led me to just shun the news all together. Until now... Now that I'm hearing about protests and university closings, and secret service I'm beginning to grow intrigued. Hence, a blog to enlighten us all on the what's what of this surprise summit that we've been so blessed to host this year.

20 facts about the G-20

1. G-20 was initiated in 1999 as an attempted solution to the financial and economical inconsistencies that exist between the global financial leaders (Luxembourg, US, UK, etc.) as well as developing economies. The goal was to collect the financial ministers from 19 countries (and European Central Bank) into a forum that promotes constructive exchange of information. Clever.

2. Discussion topics may include (but are not limited to): crisis-control, combating terrorist financing, reducing abuse of the financial system, estimating the girth of Sidney Crosby's thighs, etc.

3. The organization is led by rotating chair positions. 2009 is chaired by the United Kingdom. Cheeky.

4. The United States has not been offered the chair position yet. Perhaps it's because of our failed economy, I don't know?

5. The G-20 is not to be confused with the G-7, G-22, or G-33. They are separate associations that all just happen to do the same thing.

6. It's been reported that President Obama suggested hosting the summit in Pittsburgh to highlight the city's continuing financial recovery... Is that really your reason, Obama??

7. For the last meeting in London, the Metropolitan Police, the City of London Police and the British Transport Police, as well as over 3,000 extra police officers were called into action to control protest riots.

8. Pittsburgh can handle it.

9. This will be the first "green" political summit, thanks to the David L. Lawrence convention center which is the first certified and largest green convention center in the world.

10. Other venues for the convention are scheduled at Phipps conservatory, the Andy Warhol museum (?? haha), CAPA - Creative and Performing Arts high school, and Rosemont Farm - Teresa Heinz's place.

11. PITT chancellor, Mark Nordenberg, was not invited to attend the summit, despite his damnedest efforts.

12. Protests generally arise from public anger over recession, bankers' pay, loss of jobs, and capitalist mentality. Some people just throw stones over group think. I, personally, think violent acts of protest are neanderthalic and malproductive (both made up words).

13. The G-20 divides into two camps: the trade surplus nations and the trade deficit nations. Both camps agree that global trade imbalances lie at the root of the economic collapse. They encourage increased domestic consumption from countries like China that rely heavily on exports.

14. G-20 MVP may be a tie: some say Brazil with its rising financial status and hotshot President Lula, but others say China because of the ball-vice they have on the US debt. Think Vito vs. Michael Corleone circa Godfather II.

15. Obama's secret service codename is "Renegade". Coincidence that that's the Steeler's fight song??? I THINK NOT!

16. Duquesne, Robert Morris, Point Park, CMU, CCAC all closed for the G-20. University of Pittsburgh is holding strong.

17. Protesters allegedly plan to throw water balloons filled with decomposed roadkill juice, urine, and feces (ok, this may not be a fact - my nasty friend told me this)

18. Dinners will include Primanti's sammiches, pierogies, n'at warshed dahn wit dat der Ahrn City.

19. An event will be held on Sept. 18 at Carnegie Music Hall called: "Challenges for G-20: Is the City of Champions the Black and Gold Standard for Recovery". Sounds pretty sweet.

20. The meeting promises to end with nothing exciting.

Overall, I think that the G-20 is an excellent idea - after all many economic mistakes arise from poor communication. All this jibber jabber about Pittsburgh being a success story of financial regrowth is a bit of a stretch to me, though. NOT because Pittsburgh isn't a success story, NO I BELIEVE IT VERY MUCH IS, however, I don't think it owes its success to a government recovery plan. I think Pittsburgh thrives because of its hard-working, down-and-dirty locals (and the UPMC); and if Obama is looking to make a business plan to translate to other fallen blue-collar economies (like Detroit), it won't be easy.

Further reading:
Official Pittsburgh G-20 site

Action plan from 2008 meeting in Washington

What the health?!

2009-08-17T12:42:00.003-04:00

To say that I am politically conscious sounds more like the punch-line to a joke than anywhere near a reality... but I must admit that I am passionate about human rights and equality and have a strong interest in the field of medicine. So the current interest in the government's plan for health reform has crept its way into my field of view, despite my best efforts to avoid it. Let me highlight the 3 quick anecdotes that have led me to forcefully educate myself on this reform:

1. This American Life - July 24th 2009 - In Act 3 of the podcast Ira Glass hosts a story about a woman who fell victim to her health insurance's fine print. After finding out she was in terminal stage for breast cancer and needed an emergency double mastectomy she was also informed that her insurance would no longer provide her coverage. The fine print of her policy, known as rescission, cited that omission of any previous medical condition is grounds for cancellation. When they flagged her for review they found a previous record of something ridiculous like acne treatment and called that an omission that rendered her ineligible for coverage. With no other way of paying for her procedure she was forced into a 4 month lawsuit against the insurance providers, in which time her tumor doubled, so she could finally get coverage. The podcast reported that insurance companies make nearly 300 million dollars through rescission (either when direct fraud is present or when there is no evidence of fraud, just an ambiguous omission, usually by oversight - like the one in the cancer victim's policy). And when 3 insurance CEOs were asked if they would agree to revoke the rescission policy unless there was definitive evidence of fraud, they all said that they would not.
I like Obama's strong statement that no insurance plan "would be able to deny coverage on the basis of pre-existing conditions." But he didn't explain how he would force insurance companies to insure people with pre-existing health problems.

2. There is no set price for doctors and their services. This is the fundamental separation criteria between quality health care and accessible health care. Dr. Gupta cited that "We asked the White House specifically about that and we were told no, there is no plan in any of the bills so far to set prices across the board, across the country." On the other hand, the AMA is pissed because they claim that the government's view on the price of health care (Medicare reimbursement costs for example) is outdated and that if a nation-wide health care program develops the doctors won't be able to pay their rent or electricity (watch around the 5:25 mark).
I guess I think that doctors could endure a small pay cut for the overall improvement of the system. However, I do agree with Dr. Nielsen that in order for compliance on behalf of the AMA, considerable attention must be paid to the well being of the doctors and the up-to-date costs for medical practice.

3. It just blows my mind that there are so little health benefits for gay and lesbian couples. Could you imagine not being granted family medical leave from work to spend with your loved one during their final days? Or not being able to collect survivor benefits if, god forbid, your partner passes away leaving you to support yourself and any dependents. It's awful and completely unjust. I, among the millions of LGBT and equality advocates, was relieved when the health benefit revisions were passed for gay federal workers. While it's a huge step for gay rights, it also draws more pressure for overturning the Defense of Marriage Act that is standing in the way of true equality.

So, basically, if there are facets of this bill that have awakened a little sleeping political advocate within you, I encourage you to get the facts. There's so so so much information to sort through but it's out there, waiting for you. You can start here. Let me know if you have anything interesting to add!

Make it Easy

2009-08-13T11:52:00.005-04:00

There's alot of information out there in the world and I find that it's extremely difficult to deeply understand or explore a given topic when extraneous tangents are present to steer you away from the point. That's why I am introducing a new segment to my blog called, "Dumb Down". It's purpose is two-fold, by preparing the "dumb down" versions of complex issues I'll be learning what's really going on and also you, my reader, can benefit from the easy to follow, list-view, 101 style of the information.

Today's topic:

TWITTER dumbed down
Disregard this post if you are a twitter pro, or even better, feel free to add your 2 cents. But I must admit, I registered for the site when its popularity grew and since then I've tweeted a handful of times and still feel lost with the concept. So my goal today was to figure out some of the best uses for twitter, how to tweet effectively, and what those crazy @names mean. Enjoy.

So twitter "tweets" are text fashioned messages of max 140 characters that can be sent to "followers" or through open access. What I found interesting is that while twitter is the 3 fastest growing social network, it only has a 40% retention rate.... hmm... guess this how-to blog isn't too pointless after all! My guess is that people ask or "tweet" themselves, "what's the point?"

Some of the best uses for twitter that I have found include:
1. Getting feedback - twitpic a new haircut, or a car you are thinking about buying. Or post a link to an article you found intriguing. The mass of "followers" you have accumulated now have an opportunity to act as your council and supply advice or criticisms. I think alot of times people's arguments with twitter are, "why not just text your friends?" Well in this case, you can get opinions from people outside your direct network without mass-texting or not having contact info.

2. Give warning - if there's a huge traffic issue on the parkway and you know alot of people in your network take that route it could be very beneficial if they knew to take an alternate route. Of course this brings up the "text while driving" issue but let's just sweep that under the rug for now, shall we?

3. News tweets - this is probably the primary reason why I would enjoy "following" a twitter. It's nice to get up-to-the-minute reports on current events. News and celebrity twitters have become very popular as the give people a personal connection with the tweeter. Imagine the feeling that Anderson Cooper just personally texted you to tell you about the latest riot over the health care reform. Sexy.

4. Live twittering - recording your impressions of current art gallery exhibits, or concerts, or a sporting event can be fun and interesting to your followers. But eh, this one doesn't impress me too much.

Overall, I feel like, yea twitter is a cool idea. But my qualms are this: 1) I'm going to forget to tweet when something interesting happens which voids the purpose, and 2) I'm not gonna wanna read my friends dumb tweets so why would they want to read mine? Well regardless, I'm gonna give it a shot when I get my new blackberry ;-). CLICK HERE to follow me on twitter!

Lastly, what's up with these @name things? If I had to guess I would think its like a reference (think pointers in C++ code, all you nerds out there). But I don't know if I'm right. And do you have to type that in on your phone? Where even is the @ sign? Let's find out... I found this little helper on the WSJ blog:

Twitter Glossary
@: At reply. A public tweet directed at a fellow Twitterer, such as @Barack Obama, that shows up in their Twitter stream.
DM: Direct Message. A private message that appears in a Twitter inbox. You can only direct message people who follow you.
RT: Retweet. A tweet that you like so much that you are resending to your followers. Usually includes credit to original tweeter, such as RT @BarackObama, followed by the tweet.
Whale Icon: The iconic blue whale that pops up when Twitter is down. It appeared frequently in Twitter's first year and a half.
#: Hashtag. Used to designate a topic such as #SanDiegoFire so that people can easily search for tweets on a topic. (It is totally unnecessary, though, because a search on a keyword without the # returns the same results).
Nudge: A feature that lets you send a note to a Twitterer encouraging them to tweet more frequently. You can only nudge people who are tweeting from a mobile phone.

You can also use outside applications like Twitpic and TinyURL to add pictures and URLs, respectively, to your tweets.

Side notes to keep in mind:
- "followers" are not like facebook friends. It is not a two way street. Just because you wanna read their tweets doesn't mean that they are interested in yours.
- the best way to gain followers is to tweet more
- no one expects you to read all the tweets that roll in. Just enjoy it as good people watching.

Live long and twitter.

I move fast, but I talk oh so slow

2009-06-24T16:08:00.005-04:00

You know how I all raved about my amazing experiences on the 54C, well those days are sadly behind me. I have a new apartment so that means I'm on a new busline - the 71A Negley. I was sad about leaving my "bus crazies" but after a few rides, I've come to realize it's all the damn same.

Here's a little taste of what this summer's 71A travels have in store for me:

Yea, that's the good stuff.

Live Above the Influence

2009-06-18T12:06:00.003-04:00

Hi all, I don't know where my blog is going these days. Without sounding too much like a comb-over wearing, eyeliner coated, razor-toating Emo, I must say I feel like I have lost some direction :-/

Not with life, or school, or mah man (the important things) but with my essence. Haha, "what the hell is your essence?", you ask? I would define it as the driving force behind my interests, the endeavors I take on, the reasons for the choices I make. Lately I have had the feeling that every single thing I am involved in (outside the importants, of course) is entirely under someone's influence. Yes, I am under the influence... BIG TIME. And my philosophical struggle here stems from me wondering, "is this a bad thing?" and furthermore, "is it even avoidable?"

Let me give you some examples:
- I'm training for a triathlon. Wow cool huh? Well see, I decided to do it after I became impressed with my friends who ran the Pittsburgh marathon. And while I already ran, biked, and swam regularly, I never actually thought of racing until they inspired me. So now I feel less than original on the athletics front. And as part of all this training, I bought a new bike and am starting to get really into cycling. Too bad Craig's been cycling for years and everytime I make a choice regarding my new cycling lifestyle I realize he's already done that too, and that's most likely where I got the idea....

- 90% of the songs on my iTunes were recommended to me by Craig, my brother, music blogs, or Spin magazine. And I know that that's typically how music trends spread but maybe I should be more actively involved in the stuff I enjoy - like learn the band's history or maybe see more shows instead of just taking someone else's word for it? Oh, and the other 10% is showtunes - and that I can't really blame on anyone but myself.

- I like buying handmade goods for like jewelry or home stuff so naturally now I want to start crafting

- I even started this blog cause my other friends were!

So I ask you, is this the natural progression? To influence and be influenced in return? If it is, why do I feel so lame about myself?? Maybe it's all the indie music...

Other people are guilty of it too. Definitely. Yesterday I was looking at art from one of the coolest graffiti artists, Banksy (who I got into from Craig, of course), and my awesome google engine suggested I may also like Blek le Rat who was a graffiti artist 20 years before Banksy! Their work is nearly identical. They both even focus on rats to portray urban animals. Banksy has even said, "everytime I think I've done something original I find out the Blek le Rat did it 20 years ago"

Can you tell the difference?

First one's Banksy, second is le Rat.

So maybe imitating is only bad if you do it intentionally? But I doubt that cause when I tell people about things I like, I tell them because I really do want them to get into it and enjoy it as much as I do! So where is the line, when are we being open-minded and when are we conforming?

So so deep.

Also, why does Hollywood keep remaking movies and TV shows?? Where's the creativity there?? Indiana Jones, Rocky, King Kong, 90210, Melrose Place, Silence of the Lambs, Footloose...

This isn't a rant so much as just the beginning of a search for personal assurance that I'm not a poser in a world where everything's been done already. Thoughts??

I added some new jams, I don't blame you if you don't listen to them though for fear you are being influenced by me ;-)

In Lieu of Hockey Season

2009-06-05T22:38:00.002-04:00

Don't you think my brother, James, looks JUST like Sergei Gonchar??

Oh yea, GO PENS!

Waiting

2009-06-05T17:29:00.003-04:00

I'm waiting for Craig to come meet me at work so we can go for a bike ride. Here's how I am filling my time:

Finals

2009-04-19T13:14:00.003-04:00

Finals suck, they don't just take front burner, they take all the gas out of the stove making it impossible to light any other burner! Whoa, metaphor!

This week had potential to be so fun: Christy's engagement celebrations, new apartment move-in, sunny days! But noooooooo I'm inside writing about how to identify heterodimers by immunoprecipitation and programming Rock Band on Labview. Haha yea, this is legit, stay tuned for a video if/when it works.

Anyway, I wanted to post a song, for no other reason than to listen to it myself, cause I know nobody cares or listens to my playlists :-(
Ra Ra Riot - Can You Tell

Dear, dear friend

2009-04-13T13:48:00.003-04:00

No time to post today, plus nothing too interesting is happening in my life lately...

Oh, except I got a $125,000 grant from the National Science Foundation.

Oh and my dear, dear friend Christy got engaged!

YAY!

I really just posted so I could add a good song to the list - check it out: Regina Spektor - Hotel Song

En-white-enment

2009-04-09T18:01:00.005-04:00

It's been a while since I have posted, I realize this, and apologize. As far as updates go, April finds me well showered and in a crunch to finish the semester off right. Lots to do and not all together too much time to do it in. I enjoy the busy-ness though and feel satisfied in my directions.

Ok, boring shit aside. I decided to introduce a new segment into my blog entitled, "En-white-enment". For those of you who don't know, I am a "big sister" for Big Brother Big Sisters of Western Pennsylvania. My little sister, Nikki, is awesome and we hang out about twice a month. Our meetings basically consist of me picking her up, buying her some god awful food (McD's, Wendy's, Pizza Hut) and doing some activity. In the driving to-and-fro interim she has a habit of ripping me a new one about how white people just don't get it. Sometimes its heated, sometimes its funny, but its ALWAYS educational. Oh, and of course she doesn't offend me, because as she says, I'm a "white black girl"... clearly.

Lesson #1. Your birth name sucks... fix it up
Nikki was born as a Lauren. But hell if she was "keeping that white girl name." So her, self-claimed ghetto name became, "Nikki" (that's Nicky spelled the ghetto way). So I asked her what my ghetto name would be and she said since I've had my name so long I couldn't change it, but I could make it ghetto by spelling it Jaymi. Haha, YES! New license plate?? I think yes!

Lesson #2. Black fashion >> white fashion
Who here knows what a "swagger rag" is? Anyone? Anyone? Yea, didn't think so, that's because not only is this wayyyy too cool for whiteys, but its also wayyyy too cool for "punk blacks". Basically, only Homewood pips rock the swagger rag. So I'm like, what the hell, Nikki? What's a swagger rag? Where can I get one? And she says basically you have to be given one and they have all sorts of diamonds and stuff on it. I was like, "is it a necklace?" and she's like, "no" so I say, "is it a scarf" and she's like, "no". ???!!? I'll let you know if/when I ever get my eyes/hands on a swagger rag. Also, I promise not to use so many forward slashes in subsequent sentences.

Lesson #3. The four most famous black people
This lesson is my favorite. The day before the presidential election, me and Nik were hanging out and I was like, who do you want to win? And she's like, "duh, Obama". So we get to talking about it and she's like, "when Obama wins, I'm going to wear my shirt that shows the 4 most famous black people in history." "Cool", I retort, "who's all on it?" And here they are, in no particular order:

1. Martin Luther King, Jr.
2. Rosa Parks
3. Barack Obama
4. The lady who invented hair gel

I AM NOT EVEN KIDDING YOU. These are the people on Nikki's shirt. I have no comment, just consider me educated.

Ahhh, I love it. I really really do. Her life is awesome, she's constantly surrounded by family and friends and they are all so enthusiastic about everything. I don't compete at all, haha, but for whatever reason, she loves this little, white, black girl. Probably cause I buy her bacon double cheeseburgers.

Check out today's song (notice... April means new playlist!) it's from Okkervil River, just bought the CD after hearing many accolades.

Toodles.

S-U-M-M-E-R

2009-03-31T13:26:00.004-04:00

Summer-like weather has fallen upon the great city of Pittsburgh and that's reason to celebrate!! I picked G.Love - Holla to get you in the summer mood and also inspire you to come to the concert with me next week! But anyway, summer means many things to me and I will *spell* them out for you in this elementary school exercise:

S - shoes! I finally get to wear my summer shoes, which are basically my winter shoes without socks! Today for example, I am wearing a very faboosh pair of black shoes that Craig bought for me 2 years ago. I've gotten 2 compliments and saw many people look at them, so I know it's the real deal. My toes are bleeding, however, and I did a minor Tokyo drift when turning the corner at work because they are slippery as hell.

U - University move-outs! Yayyyy! Finally all the annoying young kids leave the city! And when they depart, they leave all sorts of cool stuff for me to buy or take. Also this means the busses become less crowded which always pleases this girl!

M - Movies in the park. Love it! Love the idea: picnic with entertainment and beer.

M - My bike! Well this doesn't make me too happy since last time I took Connie out in the summer, this was the result:

But I'm still looking forward to riding around with Craig every now and then and putting the old hunk-o-junk to work. I can't believe I haven't talked about Connie more on my blog. Amazingly fantastic stories have come out of that bike. Did I mention I built it? If you know anything about my engineering skills you know this thing is a death trap. More to come...

E - Everyone comes out in the summer! Prepare for the return of the Bus Crazies, they all come back out in the summer.

R - Reading! Gotta start up that book club again. I guess I'll consider having more that 2 people in my club this time around. Here are some books I want to read:
- Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand
- 1984 by George Orwell (read it once and hated it, I'd like to try again)
- The Dice Man by Luke Rhinehart (about a guy who lives his life by the roll of a die)

What does summer mean to you??

Where oh where is summer?

2009-03-27T13:36:00.001-04:00

It's supposed to snow tomorrow...

In hopes of summer, I have added a song by my favorite summertime band, The Replacements. Enjoy... The Replacements - Can't Hardly Wait

If I was a bum...

2009-03-26T12:47:00.002-04:00

First of all, damn you all for not telling me it was my 50th blog yesterday! I missed it! Now I have to wait till the centennial.

Over the last day, I found many ways I could benefit from being homeless. Let me rephrase that, I could benefit IF i was homeless. And by many, I mean two.

1. I went to Wendy's for a twisted frosty last night (chocolate and oreo) and as i was ordering I dropped my quarter but was like, "eh, forget it, here's another dollar." I looked down tho to see where my quarter fell and there was like $6 worth of change down there!!! Attention all hobo's get to scrounging at the local fast foodery!

2. As I was waiting for the 54sizzle today I was reading the headline of the Pittsburgh Post Gazette through the little newspaper trap. A guy came to buy one and he dropped in his 50 cents and as he opened the door of the newspaper iron maiden, I saw that there were like 50 in there for the taking! If I was homeless I would deposit 50 cents, take all the papers and sell them for a quarter! I know this is illegal and really effed up, but I think if I was homeless I wouldn't care about that so much.

Mouse Trap

2009-03-25T11:47:00.003-04:00

Well ladies and gentlemen, I hate to spoil my pristine self-image of cleanliness and class but here's the truth.... I HAVE MICE!!!! Craig and I found mice (not a mouse) in our house today. Oh god, I'm getting the J-naus just thinking about it.

Here's what happened, a couple weeks ago when we took out the garbage (yea we're bad about that) I noticed a little hole in the bottom of the bag but didn't think too much of it since our Giant Eagle trash bags cost 29 cents for 100 so I couldn't imagine them being high quality. I also noticed some little black specks on the floor and showed Craig but we both agreed it was coffee grinds and i vacuumed em up and that was the end of it. We both acknowledged that it COULD be mice but just didn't want to accept that so, like other household problems, we just ignored it!

We took the trash out last night and didn't replace the bag in the kitchen trash can. When Craig went downstairs this morning to put the bag in, I just heard a high pitched squeal from him with some whimpers and tears. Haha no, just kidding, he was like, "Hanerz get down here, I found our mouse!"

Well, there were actually 2, see em? Frankly, I am perplexed and impressed as to how they got in there! Can mice climb walls? There was nothing near the trash can for them to climb up on. Here are my theories:

1. There's a hole in the bottom of the trash can. I don't think this is the answer because after Craig and I let the miceys (which were actually kinda cute) outside we filled the trash can with soap and bleach and no liquid ran out the bottom.

2. The mice kamakazi'd from the counter top into the can. This is sorta more likely except then I don't know how they got up on the counter? Unless maybe the mouse hole is higher in the wall? But after we let them outside, we watched them run around and the one got to the top of another houses cellar steps (ha-hah) and was afraid to jump down so what the hell? If it's a scaredy mouse how did it jump into my can?

3. They can climb walls. This seems to be the only answer and frankly, it scares the shit out of me.

Space Cadet

2009-03-23T19:14:00.003-04:00

Monday evening - in LabView class - dozing off as usual. I have been really spacey lately, it probably somehow goes back to my compulsive drinking. This weekend was looney, here are the details in staccato (feel free to snap in rhythm as you read): Craig's List flakes wasted my time . Pitt wins in two stupidly close games . Fuel and Fuddle . Absinthe . Carter and Bonasso . Bootlegger's . Drunk driving with Craig . Howler's . Pabst . last call . Saturday hangover . More Craig's List flakes standing me up . Chipotle . Sitting in my lab twiddling my thumbs . red wine . Brillobox . standup comedy . Dallas and LP bail early . HaNeRz (blackout, overly confident version of me) . Stoopid . last call . Hitching a ride from a comic . late night wardrobe malfunction . Sunday hangover ...

What am I? 19? I should be able to handle myself better by now. Eh well, I'd say it was worth the memories but there's very few of those.

Let's switch gears... Isn't that a good cliche? I love commonplace phrases...

Some phrases I really like:
"The squeaky wheel gets the grease" - haha, be annoying and get your way!
"I need to blow off steam" - gives me a fun characture picture of me as a teapot
"Use it or lose it" - applies to just about everything (except body fat)

Some phrases I don't get:
"Held with kid gloves"
"Thanks, but no thanks"
"Bite the dust"
"Go for broke"

Comments??? I can't post a song right now cause I'm in the BIOE lab and everything is blocked cause they think its porn.

Sex in the media makes me smile

2009-03-19T10:12:00.003-04:00

Headline of Note in the Pitt News today:

Background - it's an article discussing the government's attempt to lower birth control pill prices and the amazingly appropriate title is....

MORE BANG FOR YOUR BUCK

haha, yes!

So in honor of blatantly obvious sexual innuendos today's song is Brazilian Girls - Pussy

(Oh PS. my awesome daily playlist is growing and you may need to scroll down to see/hear the S.O.T.D.)

Mac is Back is the Ack Ack Pack

2009-03-18T13:09:00.003-04:00

Has anyone ever played Fusion Frenzy for XBox? I love that game and I wish they had it for PS3. Anywho, that's were my title today comes from, if you were wondering. But also, my title reflects the glorious happenstance that my Mac has returned from repair!!!

He was probably so sad to come home. Fat Crook Joe (my nickname for my Mac Book Pro) was probably loving all the attention he was getting from trendy Emo-haired Mac techs. I bet they laid him down in sheets of linen, like the tiny dancer he is. But none the less, he's back and better than ever.

Buying AppleCare was the best use of $300 on top of the $100,000 I had to put into this computer. I have been able to replace the following free of cost:

1. Disk writer (after burning many many Netflix DVDs)
2. Battery (after overheating to the point of buckling)
3. Top case (after oilifying the mouse pad with my greasy fingers to the point of disfunction)

But yay! Good as new!

Song today is an oldie but a goodie - Gorillaz - Last Living Souls

The People vs. Sodexho

2009-03-16T13:01:00.003-04:00

So really, WTF is up with the attitudes of Sodexho workers? I get it, you have to deal with snot face college kids all day everyday, but so do I!! And I'm not being a big ole biotch.

Obviously I had an altercation this afternoon with a deadbeat-good-for-nothing Sodexho employee. For those of you who aren't aware, high schools and universities hire employees from this food company Sodexho to work cafeterias and coffee stands and such. These people act like I'm asking them to perform freaking nuclear fission while standing on their heads when I'm just asking where the hell I can get a coffee stirrer. Jesus.

There's no better way to ruin a cold, stale cup of coffee then serve it with a side of unnecessary tude. When I was in San Francisco last week, we ate a restaurant that doubled as a half-way house for reverted criminals (probably from Alcatraz) to learn how to get back into the workforce. They were our servers and they were as sweet as day. Not a negative quip once, so WTF is wrong with Sodexho?!?

Anywayyyyy, song today - Joe Strummer - Coma Girl

YAY FOR PITT BEING #1 NCAA SEED!

De-Mac'd

2009-03-15T12:50:00.002-04:00

I had to send in my Mac for repair. Devastating. Actually its kind of liberating. I have done NOTHING productive all weekend, simply because I can't! I have no means! So instead I fixed my hunk o' junk bike (named Connie) and rode with Craig to some St. Patty's festivities downtown. We flasked some Absinthe and had a couple beers then went to linner (lunch+dinner) with Micky and her college cronies. Now I know how John and Patrice must feel when they hang out with us little kids.

Today I plan to finish a blanket I started my freshmen year of college and hang outside in the nice weather. I kinda hope my computer never comes back :-)

Enjoy today's song: Scissor Sisters - Better Luck

Goals. Goals. Goals.

2009-03-13T10:28:00.002-04:00

Yesterday was like a black hole of productivity. The only good thing that happened occurred to me around 11:30 and I think I may have just invented the next big thing... stay tuned for more details.

Today I HAVE GOT to get my work done. Here are my goals:

0. Make coffee
1. Finish Cell Bio take home midterm
2. Write up project proposals for both LabView class and Cardiovascular Modeling
3. Create a custom ringtone

I made coffee the zeroth law of today. So I better get on that, I'm already behind.

Enjoy today's song choice, it's a lovely little ballad from Band of Horses - no ones gonna love you. I think its my lucky song for today cause it came on my jPod while I was driving into the parking garage where I have no permit for but still park in everyday because the entrance arm is broken and I saw repairmen trying to fix it but when I walked past them I overheard one say, this is going to take more than what we brought today. YES! Another day of free parking!!

New Gadget

2009-03-12T16:32:00.002-04:00

I added a daily playlist to my Blizzog on the right. Check it out and comment. It's still kinda kinky, meaning I gotta work some stuff out. But stay tuned (iTuned, that is) I'm going to add 1 song everyday for a month and then start a new list. Yay, so all of you can hear many many of my favorite songs based on my mood and such.

;-) Enjoy my March Madness playlist!

Today I added The Black Keys - Act Nice and Gentle because I have NOOOO motivation at all today but I actually got a lot done when I was listening to their album, so Yay!

Recent Updates in a Run-On Sentence

2009-03-12T12:17:00.000-04:00

I got home on Tuesday night and didn't feel jet lagged but woke up at 11:30 on Wednesday morning so the day kinda led on from there, Craig and I ran errands and he ended up buying a really sweet bike (I looked at some too and I really liked this one, I even had the store order it for me, but I don't think I can afford it) and I got nothing at all done with my day, but that's okay cause its spring break after all and I will do work for the rest of the week.

I got a parking ticket on Thursday morning.

My Mac is being a big idiot and I have to mail it in so I won't have a computer for 7-10 days which is like apocolyptic because I won't get to blog or watch amazing You Tube videos like these (courtesy of Patrice and John):

Is this Pink Eye?

2009-02-27T11:42:00.001-05:00

Leap of Faith

2009-02-26T15:08:00.000-05:00

It's been a rough week kids. I've gotten some pretty bad blows regarding the income situation but I'm working on it. So for now, that's all I wanna say. And I don't want to talk about it anymore.

SMILES!!! SMILES ALL AROUND!!

But what IS exciting is that I bought my first very own apartment! It was scary since my financial future is somewhat uncertain. But that's right, I got a nice little place that I can call my own. I'm so excited and i LOVE it! I start moving in April 15th (which is great cause my other lease ends on May 1). Here's what my plans are in the lovely new apartment:

- actually not suck at maintaining house plants
- decorate
* this will involve actually buying new furniture, YAY!
- set up an area where I can keep all my art supplies (not shoved in some corner) to reawaken my talented side
- get nice smelling candles and such and keep them lit

hmm.... does it sound like maybe I'm a little fed up with sharing a place with a boy? Haha, I kid, Craig was the bestest roomie and I hope he gets to stay around to have some time with me in my new place :-)

Here's some pictures in computer terms:

Fireplace and windows in living room:
-------------////////////////----------------
-------------////////////////----------------
-------------////////////////----------------
--{.......}--////////////////--{.........}---
--{.......}--////////////////--{.........}---
--{.......}--////////////////--{.........}---
--{.......}--////////////////--{.........}---
--{.......}--////////////////--{.........}---
--{.......}--//[.......]/////--{.........}---
--{.......}--//[.......]/////--{.........}---
--{.......}--//[.......]/////--{.........}---
----------//[.............]//----------------
----------//[.............]//----------------
----------//[.............]//----------------
----------//[.............]//----------------
----------//[...oooooo....]//----------------
----------//[..oooooooo...]//----------------

God I am so done with that, use your imagination for the rest.

Bad day for parking

2009-02-24T21:23:00.001-05:00

I just couldn't get it right today. I left my house at 9:20 am to get to work to catch the 9:45 shuttle up to campus. Traffic was unavoidable and I was heading down Bates, crossing the street to my building at 9:40 when who comes barreling past me headed up the hill, but the 40A. Ya know, eff that driver. He leaves early from that stop everyday and it really sucks.

So I pull a 4-lane U-ey and basically trail him all the way back to campus. Of course there was no meter parking to be found so I had to park in the garage which cost 8 bucks. So freaking stupid.

I leave campus at like 1:30 to see some apartments and that was fun (more on the apartment situation later) and I parked my car outside my house by a meter. I put a quarter in and it only gave me 8 minutes when its supposed to give me 30. So I put another couple quarters in and left a note that the stupid meter is ripping me off. Welp, asshole parking police gave me a ticket (and took the note). The ticket was $11, bringing me to a $20 day of parking. What a waste.

The mousepad on my mac hasn't been working at all, it just like freezes, so I took my computer into the apple store and, of course, when I'm telling the trendy mac employee what my problem is, the mouse works good as the day I bought it. Typical. So he very "genius"-ly runs an update on my computer and basically tells me to get the hell outta there. Whatever, it's working now so I can't complain.

So all in all, it was a weird day. And work and money are stressing me out so I'm just so-so. Here's a video to remind me of better days (and show Beyonce what's up).

A Sci-Fi Story Break

2009-02-17T15:33:00.000-05:00

Day in and day out, a beautiful princess would travel from her lovely home across mountains and rivers to her humble scientific research laboratory. Just like every other day, she entered the fluorescently-illuminated lab, rinsed her coffee cup of yester-residues, refilled, and carried on with the days tasks. When the digital clock tolled 6pm, like so many days before, she gracefully dislodged her ass from her swivel chair and departed for home.

This particular night, however, was like no other.... For you see, what the otherwise impeccably hygienic princess neglected to mention to anyone is that when she "rinses" her gilded UPMC mug, she is doing little more than splashing out leftover liquid. What harbored beneath was something much much worse. Something not prince nor pauper, not knight nor ogre, not samarai nor Karate Kid could have ever anticipated. On this night, something was born, yes BORN, right there in that coffee mug, and the fate of the beautiful princess and her lovely Land of Oak were in grave danger.

That evening, a force of pure evil erupted from the mug in a form that could only be described as fungal in nature. Lord Mocha-Molda had arrived, bringing with him a gang of Coffee-Mates who swore to act on their vendetta against the princess and her mighty weapon of running tap water. Destruction ensued that night and the caffeine charged vandals sacrificed nothing - they ran high and low to stain every important document the princess had ever produced. Satisfied with their work, the gang of java warriors returned to their hiding place at the bottom of the coffee mug.

The sun rose, yet again, and the princess greeted the day with a strange new feeling. She was tired, and tired she had been many times before, but this tired, this was a tired that was oh so new. As she showered and prepared for her daily journey she couldn't get past the extreme sleepy that had fallen upon her. When she arrived in her lab, she filled her mug as usual, unknowing to the fact that an army of cruel and toxic coffee militia were awaiting her to drink them in where they could launch an all out attack on her innards.

Just as our beauty was about to take her first ill-fated sip, she was interrupted by the charging in of a crew of shady figures dressed in full white suits.

"PUT DOWN THAT GOD DAMNED COFFEE MUG, LITTLE LADY" shouted the IACUC official, "DON'T YOU KNOW THAT FOOD AND BEVERAGE CONSUMPTION IS STRICTLY PROHIBITED IN LABORATORY ENVIORNMENTS???"

IACUC, or the Institution Animal Care and Use Committee, had unknowingly become the knights in white for our poor, rule-breaking, young researcher.

"WE ARE INCINERATING THIS MUG!" they shouted... "AND DON'T THINK WE DON'T SEE THAT CHIPOTLE BAG IN THE TRASH!"

Slightly embarrassed but thoroughly relieved to have lived to research another day, the princess laid a tender kiss on the cheek of IACUC official and assured him that no more snacks would be enjoyed in her laboratory.

And they lived happily ever after...

Back to the Blog (Part II)

2009-02-11T14:27:00.000-05:00

Guys, I know I have been blog slacking. But that last one was a doozy and I just haven't had the time to commit to make another post of its caliber. When the bar gets raised too high for me, instead of shaming myself by falling just short, I usually like to fall WAY short and set a new, low ass standards bar (think slipped-disk-LIMBO-level type of low).

So I have to get Back to Work now, but here are some "Back to the Future" quotes I like to throw into random conversations and see if people pick up on the reference. Try it yourself:

"You're a slacker, McFly, just like your old man"

"Now we can watch Jackie Gleeson while we eat!"

"Mayor Goldie Wilson, now I like the sound of that!"

"You're my density"

"Get your ugly, yella, keister off my property before I pump your guts full of lead!"
(...hmm not the right movie, but equally quotable)

"Maybe you guys aren't ready for that yet, but your kids are gonna love it"

25

2009-02-04T21:29:00.000-05:00

So I'm sure everyone has noticed the little facebook and blogger phase that's been going on where so and so shares 25 random little life tid-bits about themselves. Well that's all very fun and cute, but I think information should be *informational* ... call me crazy! I have thus opted to share 25 of my life lessons in hopes that they may, in some way, benefit you someday.

1. Never turn down anything that's free. For whatever dumb ass reason, when I bought my MacBook, I was like, "Nah, I don't need that free printer, the computer was enough of a deal! I already feel like I'm robbing you blind, Mr. Jobs!" I was an idiot.

2. Life's too short to deny yourself things that make you smile. This includes pizza, vacations, and beer.

3. Just because your friends enjoy your quirky innuendos doesn't necessarily mean that job interviewers will.

4. Don't ask questions at the end of lectures that you slept through. The speaker usually has 3 or 4 slides that covered that exact question.

5. If you find yourself in China. Don't go to the Summer Palace, it's a waste of time.

6. Don't post movies starring yourself on YouTube unless you are mentally prepared to be completely made fun of by strangers.

7. Always have a standby joke ready in case someone asks you to tell them a joke. For the life of me, when that happens on the spot, I act like I've never heard a joke in my whole life.

8. Write things down so you don't forget them. If I had a nickel for everything I forgot, I don't know how many nickels I'd have because I forgot.

9. Save your receipts. All of em. And keep in mind, people you rip off are probably saving their receipts too, so beware.

10. Don't pet Craig's dog, Roger. He mauled me in front of the whole family during our first meeting.

11. Avoid lending people pens or hairties - you won't get them back.

12. Don't miss out on opportunities just because you are afraid. I hate hate HATE flying on airplanes, but on average, I use them 10 times a year. Also, I stutter like a crazy person when I give presentations, but I would never turn down a chance to talk about my research.

13. I wouldn't recommend randomly surfing the web at work. I stumbled on one web site just as my boss came in to talk to me. I turned my chair to address him and when I turned back around toward my computer screen, the word "NEUROTIC" was flashing fluorescently in huge letters.

14. When someone on the street holding a microphone asks you how you feel about "the G7 conference on globalization" simply say, "I don't know what that is." Don't go on for 8 minutes trying to pull something out of your ass.

15. Never volunteer to work as a ghoul at a haunted house. Unless you are willing to lose a contact, sweat yourself stupid, and sit on a rusty nail.

16. If you are now or have ever been in the habit of double spacing after you end a sentence, I would suggest dropping it. Nothing matters less in the world of punctuation and it's a bitch when you have a space limit.

17. When someone promises you something important, always get it in writing. Don't wait to learn this the hard way.

18. If you drunkenly drop your phone (this can apply to cameras, too) and the battery comes out, IT IS NOT DEAD FOREVER. Do not throw it away.

19. Egg drop soup is not good. It looks and tastes like spunk (that's what I heard anyway)

20. Either always hit on 16 or never hit on 16. Blackjack is all about consistency.

21. Lying isn't worth the energy it takes.

22. As much as it sucks, when jeans are too old just throw them away. Don't chance accidental public rippage.

23. If Kid n Play stop you on the streets of Hollywood and perform a magic trick on you on live TV, pretend like you're impressed - don't just stand there and stare at them.

24. When you work a 9-5, search for a way that your work directly impacts people. It might be diluted, but it will make you happy to know. This may not apply to people who study rocks, I have no idea what good that does for mankind.

25. Approach life like you're waiting for a 54C. If you don't run out in front of it waving your arms around, it'll just pass right on by.

I see London, I see France

2009-01-20T15:43:00.000-05:00

Hey duders,

I need to keep up with my blog more in the new year. Let's add it to the list of resolutions, k? K, done.

So I have been what some would call a "globetrotter" these past couple of weeks. It may seem frivolous the amount of time and money I have given up for these experiences, but the way I see it - I don't own an expensive car, fancy schmancy clothes, or an iPhone, so I think I can afford it. Plus my rent is dirt cheap and I'm living in 50 degree conditions.

Dec. 28th - Jan. 5th: London, England and Paris, France
This was a little tripsy to go see a very very dear friend, Jon Zolomij. The kid jumped town after graduating from Pitt (see the poll this week for a challenging quiz about Jon). We saw all the predictable sights (Parliament, Big Ben (Roethlisberger), Tower of London, London Bridge (terrible bridge), and the British Museum). Jon was a great host and his Europop friends were awesome. We brought in the New Year at a chic bar called "Bedroom" with an Indian/Sex theme and the alcohol and champagne flowed like water. Needless to say, in typical Jamie fashion, I was running my mouth and making a fool of myself... how else to start a new year!? Flashback to last year:

Jamie: "Gary! Gary! Gary, you think I'm drunk! Give me an integral, I'll solve it!!
Gary (Craig's father): "I don't even know what an integral is, calm down."

Anyway, we stopped by Paris for 2 days and saw the Eiffler, Lourververevre (or however its spelled), Arc d'Triumph, Champs Elysees, and blurreee blauaau bleu (that's "blah, blah, blah" in a French accent). Paris was beautiful, but the people... kinda douche bags. Douche is french afterall, isn't it? Don't answer that. I don't care.

I rode the New York subway, the London Underground, the Paris Metro, and a Greyhound all in a matter of 6 days... WOW! Greyhound was the best, naturally. Have I ever shared my Greyhound experiences via blog??? We'll save that for a Jamie Neutron Exclusive.

And most recently, I just returned from fabulous Las Vegas with the siblings (minus Micky, the youngin' who is Barack-ing out in DC). We went to celebrate Alyssa's 21st, Carolyn's 30th, and James' 27th. Needless to say, it was a shitshow and I loved every minute of it. Vegas is phenomenal, I love it... the raunchiness, the desperation, the buffets. It's my happy place.

And how bout dem Stillers?? I made a bet with myself in Vegas (well actually I made a lot of bets, but this one is legit) that if the Eagles didn't clench this SuperBowl, which they didn't, I would officially become a PRIMARY Steelers fan.

NOW I KNOW THIS WAS BIG NEWS TO SOME PEOPLE...

Take a breath and listen to my logic -
1. I have been an Eagles fan for 22 years and NEVER seen a Super Bowl win
2. I know its not about winning, but let's face it, I'm tired of being let down
3. Any person would agree that when you've stopped getting enjoyment from a relationship, it's time to cut ties
4. I have lived in Pittsburgh for 6 years and will now see 2 Super Bowl games!
5. Plus I grew out of my McNabb jersey

So all I have to say is.... HERE WE GO, STEELERS, HERE WE GO!!!!

I lie for money

2009-01-13T12:51:00.000-05:00

Here's hoping for another $50!

One of those days

2009-01-08T13:53:00.001-05:00

Do you ever have one of those days where everything is just so annoying. Like every little thing plays on your last nerve. Well that's me today. I'm not grumpy or in a bad mood its just like "WTF" moments keep happening.

Examples:
- My dumb ass MacBook was frozen for a day and a half and I could see things updating so it was alive, but I couldn't operate the mouse pad or keyboard. I took it to the Apple store and
- Got a parking pass valid for 1 hour but had to wait in line for 45 minutes and ended up getting a ticket. At least AppleCare covered the problem with my Book and they replaced the battery free of charge
- It wasn't really free though since I got that ticket.
- And did some interim shopping at Victoria's Secret.
- My house is freezing since Craig and I have resorted to corporal punishment to cut down on the gas bill, hence when I was enjoying my lunch of spaghetti, I got sauce all over my new scarf which was keeping me warm.
- I went to the library to rent a textbook so I could do my Stats HW without buying the book but it was checked out. Guess till when? APRIL.
- I had to come into Benedum to work on my homework since I don't want to spend $80 on the software I need, but of course the computer I chose to settle into (bring out all my supplies, plug in iPod, remove shoes) is the only PC that the program wasn't installed on
- I gathered my belongings and changed rooms, no biggie, but my dumb new backpack's velcro attached to my sweater and when I dropped my backpack it yanked my sweater and pulled my earbuds out and I wailed a silent yell.

All of these problems are resorting from my being cheap, I've noticed.

It's just lousy, ya know? But I'm still cheery for the most part. Oh, nice, there's a class in this room and I have to leave now. Wonderful.

Later,
J

The End of the Beginning

2009-01-06T11:23:00.000-05:00

OK, be warned, you are about to read a MeganBoerio-esque blog where I plan to pour my bleeding heart out on this digital canvas of sorrow. In my own witty, bullshit way of course.

I have come to realize that while all fun and fancy free life has been up to now, it's very very quickly approaching a change. And NO this is NOT THE CHANGE WE NEED!

A New Year's list -
People I love who may be leaving me soon:
1. Craig
2. LP
3. Vedururu
4. MeganBoerio

What the hell is to become of me?!? These people have made me, they are my besties, and now I'm without.

I know what you're thinking, "Ok, Lady Drama, chill out." Ok, I'll chill out. I mean, how exciting it's going to be to live alone and pay a full gas bill, and get a cat that I can talk to every night, and play Rock Band alone, and drink PBR alone in my living room with no furniture cause Craig took it all, and hang out with Dallas all the time (hehehe just kidding!)

Ugh, this is terrible. I'm going to Chipotle....

A song to lift my spirits: Easy/Lucky/Free by Bright Eyes:

"Honey, don't you weep...
Don't you weep...
There is nothing
as lucky,
as easy,
or free."

2008

2009-01-05T14:48:00.001-05:00

...cheers to another fantastic year :-)

The day the earth stood still...

2008-12-15T11:43:00.000-05:00

So yay, happy 30th blog post to me today! It seems like just yesterday I was writing my first blog - talking about nonsense and complaining about the Pittsburgh recycling system. Thank you to my loyal readers, who may or may not even exist.

Another point of congratulations falls on my unyielding pursuit of small amounts of free money... MY MOVIE WON!! They actually bought that I was a serious student who cared about time management and have sent a check for $50 to my estate. I rock.

And speaking of rock...

My post-finals life has been swallowed by the phenomenon of Rock Band 2. On an impromptu trip to Best Buy to purchase a router for his parents, Craig and I came to the rationale that we love each other very much and therefore would spend upwards of $80 on each other for Christmas and what better way than the gift of music?! So we bought it on the spot, took it home, plugged in and BLEW THE NEIGHBORHOOD AWAY.

There's 3 instruments and only 2 of us so he plays drums and I rock lead guitar and vocals (with frequent switching it up, of course). My body aches now though, my eyes are blood shot from following the lyrics and the guitar chords simultaneously. I have a headache and my throat is killing me. Mucho respect for David Lee Roth, I don't know how he does it.

Anyway, our band is called GrossFriendz and the drummer, Calmandu, is dating the lead singer, Lee Pawnee, who is actually sleeping with the guitarist, Jittney Cobb, on the side. Sexy.

Come over and Battle of the Bands with us!!!

Movie Star

2008-12-09T21:01:00.001-05:00

You guys will enjoy this one. It's Tuesday night of finals week meaning, anything and everything is a distraction from my studying/presentation practicing. And today is the freaking bane of my scholarly existence:

First, a Woot Off! It's all junk but what do I care, it gives me a reason to refresh my browser every 90 seconds. And my last woot purchased arrived today, a lovely Samurai tee shirt, hot.

Second, I get this email from some Student Health 101 magazine that's running a competition for $50 prize to whoever films a 1-2 minute clip explaining some helpful tips in the areas of studying, time management, stress, etc. Welp - it took less than a blink for me to have Photo Booth open and get to filming.

For your viewing pleasure:

Oh yea, and I lied about being a senior, it made me feel like a loser to say "I'm a graduate student"

Deep Brain Stimulation

2008-12-02T15:25:00.000-05:00

I got J-Naus today when my iPod earbuds conducted a raging current of winter shock electricity through my ears and into my prefrontal lobe. I hate static cling and getting shocked, it's one of the worst things about being an organic species. This jolt, however, did shock me into a great idea for today's blog. No that's not true, but it did cure my stutter and turn my eyes pink.

Also not true, but let's just move on. There's this squirrel that loiters outside of my lab building everyday. It's the weirdest effing squirrel I've ever seen. Ya know how when you try to pet squirrels or tickle their bellies they usually run away? What you don't try to rub their bellies? Well this squirrel must be rabid because it is seriously not people shy at all. One day I was trying to leave and it wouldn't let me because every time I tried to open the door it would try to run in. I didn't know what to do becuase this went on for like 20 minutes. I was stuck, I couldn't let a rodent into a sterile science research facility (although, I'm sure he could have been put to good use). So I took a picture:

So what do I do? I mean, right? I was stuck! And I was scared! This squirrel had an agenda. Well the anticlimax is that he left and I exited, and well, that's that, but it could have been MUCH worse.

Today's reason why engineers are annoying:
"Oh we love computers, we are so computer smart, we can solve any computing problem in the whole worrrllllddd" Hm, really, Engineer? Then how come there's a line 12 people deep waiting for a PC in the computer lab when there are 3 rows of Macs available?

Macs and hot chicks must be linked in the nervous system since both scare the poop outta engineers.

Over and out ;-)

My parents are cooler than me

2008-11-26T10:40:00.000-05:00

I don't know about you all, but I grew up listening to stories from my parents about this concert, and that festival, and so and so's live act, and yadda yadda yadda. I didn't think anything of it when our weekend's included watching illegal concert tapes that they recorded and I would occasionally have to cover my eyes but NEVER my ears. My parent's weren't hippies - more like stoners, I'd say. I recently found out that they grew weed behind the basement fridge where I would keep my Kool-Aid Bursts.

So, I mean, they are definitely cooler than me. They're repertoire of concerts is incredible: Queen, the Stones, Dylan, it goes on. This made me feel the need to re-evaluate my list of concerts to compare and see myself as a rad-hipster as well. So please enjoy the following list of my top 5 concert experiences:

5. Sitting three rows from Interpol at quite possibly the coolest venue (Benedum Center) for an avant-garde band.

4. Taking my shoes off and moshing in a cloud of dust while the lead singer of Gogol Bordello was passed around above the audience balancing himself on a large drum.

3. Walking 3 blocks from my house to see Tom Gabel of Against Me! rock out perfectly. I mean this guy has been scream-rocking for over a decade and his voice sounds amazing, also.... HE PLAYED AN OLD CROW MEDICINE SHOW SONG! Gotta love a guy who can go from punk to folk without skipping a beat (reminds me of my Craigger)

2. MMJ MMJ MMJ MMJ MMJ MMJ MMJ MMJ MMJ MMJ MMJ MMJ MMJ MMJ MMJ MMJ MMJ + MS = #2
The above equation sums up my second favorite concert experience. Standing in line for 20 minutes to watch My Morning Jacket play for 3+ hours (about 30 songs)! This band is what unbelievable concerts are made of, every song sounded incredible, we were right by the beer stand, they played all of our favorites, and Matt Salopek was there!!

1. Best concert ever (well, so far). June 2007, Manchester Tennesse, me, Craig, and Sting. Seeing The Police at Bonnaroo was definitely #1. From the beginning it was chaos: when Craig and I threw a backpack of IC Light over a wall in front of police and SWAT so that we could drink, shoving our way into the front third of the 300,000 people who were there, watching Craig relieve a little message in a bottle for Sting, oh and did I mention we were so ***happy to be there*** that I was halucinating cavemen in the crowd?!

Take that, Mom and Dad.

Nirvana and Against Me!

2008-11-14T15:40:00.000-05:00

So I just napped in the quiet room of Benedum Library - something I haven't done since college! It's nirvana in that room. I can take my shoes off, sprawl out, and it's absolutely silent. Only con is that it's surrounded by windows so every engineer and their brother (...or sister) can watch my sleepy time habits.

People I am fed up with:
1. Dr. Federspiel - just a play on words here, although I am FED up with him and his math homework assignments
2. MEDCO - I am trying to get my prescription mail ordered to me so I don't have to pay $45 every month and go to CVS and wait on that dumb red couch, but everytime I call to work it out there's an issue. Either I have to get my pharmacy to fax the prescription AGAIN or their computers are down, or my phone dies (ok, so that's my problem but still...)
3. Construction workers at Benedum. As if you could possibly fit any more skeezy men into this building, they go and hire 50,000 construction workers to gawk at the females, piss on the co-ed toilet seats, and chatter outside the classrooms all day. Also, I have come to the conclusion that a construction workers day consists of 10% construction work, 70% eating lunch, and 20% going to the bathroom.

That's my rant. Obviously I am a little cranky when I wake up from naps. I have to go to Fed's class now and BS my homework assignment.

Take care, cyber kids.

OH! And guess what?! Against Me! is playing at Garfield Artworks, literally a block from my house! If anyone out there is an Anarco-punk fan looking for some fun, let me know and I'll get ya tickets! Show's Nov. 23 (sorry, Ved).

Wasted (Time and Money, not Alcohol)

2008-11-10T11:13:00.000-05:00

How much time have I wasted waiting for busses? I mean mathematically it's a challenging question:

If I wait on average 10 minutes/day for a bus (54C) or shuttle to the Biotech center that comes to about an hour a week. And if I am in school for 30 weeks out of the year, I mean good god, that's more than a day I have been waiting around twiddling my thumbs. I suppose it's better than the time I would waste walking everywhere, but at least I'd be working out or enjoying scenery. While standing and waiting, I'm literally doing NOTHING, even my thinking is stupid cause I am distracted by things like birds or near car wrecks.

But if I try to multi-task (by blogging, like I am now) I most likely miss the bus and the process is dragged on.

Similarly, how much money have I wasted on parking tickets? See, when I end up missing said busses or shuttles, I usually resort to driving which commonly ends in some sort of ticket. Any of the following which I have memorized due to frequent occurences:

$11 illegal meter parking in Friendship (x3/year)
$25 illegal meter parking in Oakland (x100s/year)
$15 street cleaning in Oakland (x20/year)
$8 all day parking in O'hara garage (x2/year)

All of these added to the $168 and $21 I paid for a Biotech center parking pass and H-area permit zone, respectively. The math is mind blowing.

I'm not going to eat this week to make up for all this lost time and money. I do plan on continuing to drive to school, wait for busses, and drink, so the balance will still end in the red.

State of Nausea

2008-10-29T11:51:00.000-04:00

I feel nauseated at least once a day. Everyday. I know this isn't normal but I also know it isn't serious, it's just me. I never ACTUALLY vom, but the feeling is so strong and real and I often do wack things to calm myself down. Let me walk you through this:

What provokes my Jamie Nausea (J-Naus):
- the bus ride to and from the biotech center (very bumpy, very jerky)
- hurting myself (especially when its cold out, oh man)
- nervousness
- church

Church is the only J-Naus that actually produces results. I think it has to do with the crowded area, standing alot, and the events of Saturday evening that fall onto Sunday morning. That stuff, or it's a natural exorcism of all my evils. Either way, I've had to excuse myself more than once (by excuse I mean haul ass to the back of the church to kneel to my Lord and present to him my gifts)...

Nervousness is a doozie too since this often means I'm doing something important like giving a speech. When I was the keynote at graduation I was walking down the procession line and blacking out and holding back the J-Naus and I grabbed a water bottle from a lady sitting and chugged it to bring myself to. Could you imagine?! What if I had thrown up or collapsed in front of my graduating class, professors, parents, deans... good god, that would have been it.

So basically, I am a pro at recognizing the fatal signs and correcting for them. If I am standing in front of people and feel it, I pretend to tie my shoe (even if there's no laces) so the blood can return to my stupid ass head. On the jerky bus, i press my face against the cold window and stare at my hand. Hahaha this is so funny, I crack myself up. Why do I find myself in these problems? I know it's all psychosomatic, I'm an anxiety explosion.

So anyway I just thought to blog about this as I was dry heaving after jamming my finger this morning.

Hey thanks for participating in my poll... I did NOT pull out of the market, although I tried. I was a breath away from withdrawing everything but I couldn't figure out the website. Then the next day I went up $1000. YYYEeeeeaaaa boiiii.

Halloween is coming, I can't wait. Here's a spooky ghoul to get you in the mood:

Ebony and Ivory

2008-10-15T11:32:00.000-04:00

Big debate tonight, the final clash of ebony and ivory. As a young liberal, I'm looking forward to seeing some polarized debate over domestic issues. I think my readers will agree that till we have fixed income and families, the most pressing issues that concern us are generally of the domestic variety. I don't know if this is the definition of stubborn or if others agree, but it seems like some of these issues have a clear solution, I don't even see a need to debate.

If Sarah Palin states that we don't want to live in some big-brother government telling us what to do and not do (as she did in the vice presidential debate) how can she be PRO-LIFE?! As I see it, that's exactly what this stance says, "You will follow this rule with no exceptions." And teaching abstinence only education is simply ludacris to me. While you're at it why don't you cut out evolution, too. After all, the more uneducated we make our children, the more likely they'll be to turn Republican at 18.

Both sides have been clearly open about their opinions on gay marriage. Both are against. We need to get over this gay-straight thing.

I was driving through rural Pittsburgh this weekend on my way to a pumpkin patch and I saw a ton of signs that said, "Democrats for McCain". They could have saved some money on printing if they just wrote, "Racists", cause that's all that means.

I don't even love Obama, he's good, he speaks wonderfully and has an amazing presence, but I'm not completely sold. The point is I am just incredibly against this particular Republican campaign. In my book, they are doing everything wrong. Basing a whole campaign on character is ok if you're running for Miss Alaska, but not the US EXECUTIVE BRANCH! Where's the versatility? They have outwardly stated that they didn't want to hold a campaign based on economics because it's not McCain's strong point. Does this mean if he wins the presidency, he isn't going to address the economic issues?

I made a picture, hehe...

I got my mind on my money and my money on my mind

2008-10-10T11:47:00.000-04:00

Hello folks,

So let's talk stock market. As an uneducated investor (only the best kind there is), I'm feeling pretty helter skelter about this debacle. 5 months ago, I invested the only large sum of money I have ever been able to call my own. Today, it is halved. I don't want to look at my portfolio because I am a "long term investor" but frankly, I am scared of bottoming out. It's like if I have enough to last through this tough time, I know it'll grow again so that's why I want to stay in, but I just don't know if my money will last through it.

Different forecasters are positive about the correction of the problem, but they also predict that this isn't the lowest the market will go. In fact they are calling for an ultimate low of -30% by 2010. Awesome, just in time for me to be an adult.

And on the flip side, what if I decide to grow a set and actually look into buying more stocks now while the market is low?

Basically, this is a decision that has no "sure thing" answer. Please add your two cents (or 15 grand if you're feeling up to it...) to my poll that I made.

New look, Same great taste

2008-10-03T12:34:00.000-04:00

OH SNAP! Look who remembers how to HTML code!

The theme of my week has been, "Pimp that ---" where the "---" can be substituted with MacBook Pro, Blog, even math homework. For my Mac, I have DEF taken it to another level. New software, new background, more organized and faster (and of course, all changes were 100% legal). Obviously my blog has been pimped. Maybe a little too much, I may need to tone it down a bit. And well, my math homework has been pimped because I decided to write as nicely and largely as possible to defer the grader from realizing that no problem is technically done.

Weekend holds alot of work in store. Gotta pimp the house, pimp the NSF grant, and force myself to stop using "pimp".

Till next time...

Damn it feels good to be a grad student

2008-09-30T10:36:00.000-04:00

PAYDAY!! Whoop thaaa raaa (thats my slur of "whoop there it is"). Besides being stuck in 1992 as my post today has proven, I am also soooo happy to have made bank. This is my first pay check in awhile and crap, I just realized something. Like as I was typing I realized something that sucks. I was all stoked cause my pay was huge! But I realized that it includes my last month of pay from the Lupus Center so I won't be getting this much every month. Eh well, at least this month looks good.

I want to take this time to let you guys know what I do everyday that you don't see me. I am really proud of the work I have been doing and I'd like to share:

Class 1 - Mathematical Methods in Chemical Engineering
This class can be defined as the area under the hard as hell curve. But I'm still going, falling behind I promise you, but moving just the same. Fun fact about this class: Dr. Federspiel took us all out for an end of the month happy hour to Hem's where the beers were on him. Fun right? Oh yea and guess what else? Thanks to a Miller Light promotion, Dr. Fed's bottomless generosity, and Craig's skeezy way of including himself in the party - BOTH Craig and I were selected from a raffle, individually, and left the bar with $600 total to go on a spring break trip. Look out, JAMAICA!!!!

Class 2 - Cardiovascular System Dynamics and Modeling
This class is the definition of bioengineering and I absolutely love it. All of our assignments have been intense programming and modeling of the cardiovascular system as an electrical circuit (makes me wanna get a tattoo real bad). I want to show you my code but an anonymous reader has told me that was lame.... Oh well, EFF them:

OOOHHhh, check out that human input impedance spectra. Doesn't seeeeem impressive BUT I had to perform fourier transforms into the frequency domain and then convert back to time domain for analysis. If you don't know what I am saying, you're cool, stay that way ;-)

Now there's a sexy plot! The clinical curve is real human arterial pressure data... the dumber looking bottom curve is what I did! Haha, it's actually good though, since that curve was modeled after a circuit composed of only 2 resistors and a capacitor arranged in parallel. Who's laughing now?! Hmm, no one is, good point, let's change the subject...

Lastly, is my TA class. How I love people who are just learning MATLAB... so frustrated, so hateful, if only they knew MATLAB is the language of technical computing. No really, it is, look here. It's fun.

So I don't ride the 54C to school anymore since my lab has a parking lot. This means I don't get my daily fix of Pittsburgh's best characters. When a door closes, however, a window always opens -- my gym is a gold mine of weirdos! I won't elaborate now but trust me, sweaty, middle-aged nurses and business women make for great talking points ;-)

Kanye West, Ph.D.

2008-09-17T12:49:00.001-04:00

So I am back in the grant writing phase, ladies and gentlemen. This means Mama needs money and she's gonna sell herself to get it. This is all in the realm of science, of course, which adds an element of sexiness, I think. I am appliyng for a rather large research grant called the Graduate Research Fellowship sponsored by the National Science Foundation (NSF). If granted, I will have my entire PhD paid for. Umm... Cha Ching. Last year I applied and got honorable mention, so I am optimistic since I have improved my merit rankings and research findings since then. I hate these essays though, I'll tell ya what. It's very hard to write catchy ideas that attract and hold a reader's attention.... oh wait - I do that every time I blog! Oh I'm just playing, I don't love myself THAT much ;-)

This is what I have brainstormed so far for my personal statement:

A wise man once preached, "Everything I'm not made me everything I am." I feel that Mr. West (aka. Kan the Louis Vuitton Don) was really onto something when he released this pearl of wisdom. We'll never make it through life as candy-coated sucka-ass bitches, instead, we must rise up like Yung Hove and set an example for the world.

That's all I have so far, I have to figure out a way to tie that into cardiovascular disease.

Oh that's enough playing around for now... you kids run off and have some fun, Mama has to get back to work.

Calling it Quits

2008-09-11T15:35:00.000-04:00

Whoever said, "Haste Makes Waste" was obviously not a Scrabble player...

I had the most heart wrenching experience today playing Scrabulous. Thinking of my blog 24/7, I decided to document this event from start to finish to allow my readers to live vicariously through the following screen shots:

Figure 1. Ohhh, hmm... perhaps I'll have a chance at the elusive, "QUIXOTIC"

Figure 2. Oh my god, it can happen, it can actually happen! I just need a U on the board...

Figure 3. Waiting for it, waiting for it... Take note of the score differential as well as my sad attempt to apologize via chat.

Figure 4. After passing about 7 times, I finally get a U and it's in a bullshit place. What do you think I do?? Do I keep waiting?? Or do I....

Figure 5. QUIT!

Alfred Butts must be turning in his grave. The dream was over. If you're wondering why I want quixotic so bad, it's that the MINIMUM i could get would be 76 points! Not to mention that it was the first BINGO ever, obtained originally by Mrs. Alfred Butts.

Thanks for journeying through defeat with me. Next time you sit to play any derivative of Scrabble, remember this:

Anyone can play a 76 point word, but only assholes QUIT...

Tow Jam

2008-09-09T11:40:00.001-04:00

Yesterday sucked. In every possible way. Yet I sustained a fantastic mood throughout the day. I love when I do that.

I brought my Netflix with me to mail and left them in my lab which I didn't return to until 2 so missed a damn day with no flix.

I got to my first class late and made a racket getting to my seat.

After class I printed a 231 page document on the color printer in the bioengineering lab which is uber unallowed.

I went to hole punch about 70 of these pages at once and encountered my first jam of the day. This wasn't your typical, "Oh silly me" kind of jam, oh no, this thing was clenched. And I wouldn't give a damn except that my only options were 1)fix this thing or 2)throw away the stupid hole punch and reprint pages 1-70. Well anyone who knows Eric, the nazi of B63, knows #2 was absolutely not an option. At first I went at this punch thinking, ok, this is no biggie I just need to release the punchers and free the paper. Jesus Christ, people, I had to dismantle the whole thing. 15 screws, a busted spring, and myriad small paper circles later, I had released my document. What a waste of time...

Next I go to return my library books that I find out are 8 days overdue. Total = $3.70. Bite me.

I return to my vehicle to find 2nd jam of the day. My key no longer feels like it has a place in my ignition, I guess. I jiggle and jaggle and jerk and twirk but nothing, not a damn thing. And I really don't have time for this. I have to tutor stupid ass freshmen how to multiply [1 2 3] by [1;2;3]. So luckily, my shining knight is studying at Hillman and comes to relieve me from the jerking and twirking. He couldn't fix it either.

I fainted in class cause all I ate was a bowl of Italian Wedding Soup for lunch and went to the gym for a long time. Luckily this happens to me all the time, so I pretended I was tying my ballerina flat and put my head between my legs till I came to.

8:30 - My TA class is over, I return to the car, and still nothing. I guess it's AAA time. I call, they promise me an hour at most. I ring em back after an hour twenty and they say, "Sorry, babe, give it 30 more" Now this sucks, I haven't been home, Craig cooked a dinner I can't eat, and I'm just so sad.

I go to get a snack at 7-11 and see the lovely Lauren Anglestein! We chat, she lifts my spirits and as I am checking out, I get the AAA call! I was too excited, I didn't even complete the transaction, I just ran out of there after throwing my Cheez-Its at the cashier.

Ole Danny Boy from AAA fixed up the car... Guess how - BY JERKING AND TWIRKING! What does he have that I don't have?!

I'll never know. But at least I got home and didn't have to call a tow truck and wait another hour for that. Oh man, what a day.

Why I love my MAC

2008-09-06T15:39:00.001-04:00

~ Sinusoids ~

2008-09-05T09:24:00.000-04:00

I realize it has been awhile since I updated my blog, but my readers should note that summer Jamie Neutron and fall Jamie Neutron are very different isotopes...

I'm swamped...

But in the most fantastic way! I absolutely love where I am going with graduate school. My classes are damn near impossible, but I am so intrigued by the subject matter and, to my surprise, I am getting it! I'm taking Cell Biology, Cardiovascular System Dynamics and Remodeling, and Mathematical Models in Chemical Engineering. All of my professors are world renown and they are so unbelivably good at lecturing. I wish I could speak like they do :-/

Also, it is so good to research again. Getting down and dirty, knee deep in Matlab code...it's where I belong. Yesterday was weird though. I wrote code to plot 2 constituve equations that measure the amount of strain energy on mouse small renal arteries against each other to see if using one model over another would make any big difference. I didn't expect that it would since one model derived from another but my result was weird as hell. I got a sinusoid!!?! Jigga what?! Take a look:

God damn sinusoids...

I have a lab meeting today at 11, hopefully a more advanced mind can interpolate what this little magic carpet even means.

I had dinner with MickyHane last night. She's so cute, we had fun. But, quite honestly, when I was visiting her dorm, I started to pine for days gone by. How freaking amazing was freshmen year?? I feel like an old fart, but really, college was the best. I walked into her dorm room and the TV was on while her roomie was doing homework, there was a laundry drying rack in the middle of the room, pictures from high school all over the wall, and random people popping their heads in the door to say hey. That experience was like nothing else, I want it back...

Alssooooo, Craig and I went to Myrtle Beach last weekend. It was perfect, such a great time: Beers on the beach, all you can eat meat buffet (this has nothing to do with the fact that I was staying with 4 guys), lounging by the pool, road trip with Matt, and MY MORNING JACKET! Take note, readers, this band is going to explode, they are by far the best live act out there and their energy is only out beat by their amazing music! I'm on my work PC, but when I get home, I'll upload the footage I took at the concert, unbelievable.

So this isn't quirky and silly like my other posts but I really feel different these days. I'm getting really serious about school and I am excited to do big things this year...

Let's still get drunk tonight, though.

Ka,oe

2008-08-19T14:48:00.000-04:00

I bet you are wondering what the title of my blog means. Well Ka,oe (pronounced Kapoot, in my opinion) is the stupid thing I type when I am trying to type my name too fast. This happens at least 3 times a day, usually while logging into gmail and I need to re-enter my login. So I am going to take this on as my new alter-ego: Ka,oe - just a fast girl in a fast, fast world.

Ok, anyway...

School starts on Monday, here are the reasons I know I am off to a great start:

1. Two of my classes (out of the 3 grad classes I scheduled) completely overlap times. Hear that, Professors? Better impress me or its your class I'm gonna be skipping everyday.

2. I sort of, kinda, told my work I'll stay on full time for one more week. Hmm, it's going to be busy...

3. As a graduate student I will go to class 50% and work in a lab 50%. Isn't it great that my lab is located at the bottom of Bates hill and I'll be hiking up and down that S.O.B. everyday???

4. I'll be missing classes on Friday and Monday in liu of a little Myrtle Beach road trip with Craigger. Eh, first classes are just going over the syllabus anyway, right?!

But on the upside, Little Micky Hane Hane is coming to Pittsburgh in 1 week! I can't wait to have that kid around. I'm going to love watching her tackle her freshmen year. Nobody buy her booze ok? Make her work for it (ew, not like that, Dallas, c'mon).

So let's take Summer '08 out big ok? Let's have a great time this weekend, all together.

Peace and Love,
Ka,oe

fif-tee fore sea

2008-08-18T08:59:00.000-04:00

So another Monday finds me riding the 54C to work. By the way, my office moved from dirty south oakland (past the BLVD!) to Medical Arts which is conveniently right on 5th. Also, we have a nice kitchen that's always stocked. I consider that a promotion.

Anyway, the bus ride today was typically atypical and here's why:

Elderly and handicapped does not equal fat. Remember this. I completely agree that we should turn over our seats to the elderly and the handicapped, however, fattness is not a handicap and I hate when a big ole fat lady asks me to forfeit my seat so she can relieve her ankles. This happened to me today, obviously. Who cares if she was holding a baby and 2 bags of groceries?!?

I didn't really mind moving to the back though since I was sitting next to Asstastic's boyfriend and she was across from him and they were dirty talking to each other. She kept mouthing, "I don't know what I am gonna do with you..." Ew.

I liked this though, someone scratched off part of the decal that was on the window that said, "A little farther back please" so that it read, "A little fart please"

hehe

Uncanny

2008-08-12T21:32:00.001-04:00

Only time for one quick comparison:

Dallas and the bartender from the Tiki Lounge on Carson Street!!!

Itchy and Scratchy

2008-08-08T21:15:00.000-04:00

Hey there all,

I am having an amazing time here in St. Thomas of the US Virgin Islands. Some of you may have noticed the phantom post title "Away on Leave" that I posted and then withdrew. Well the story with that is that I wrote a long post while drunk off Cruzan Rum and when I read it the next day, I was like, "uummmm... veto"

So here's a nice, sober, and true account of my past week. In a word --- paradise :-)

It's fantastic, although, no vacation would be complete without the mishaps that I often associate myself with. First of all, we get off the plane and the car rental place only has Honda Civics. OH, didn't I tell you? There are 7 people in my family. So the whole week we have been cramming the 4 twenty-somethings in the back and my little sis (18), mom, and step-dad in the front. And on top of all that, my step-dad is having trouble getting used to driving on the left hand side (as custom in the USVI) so theres a near fatal crash everytime we go out. Fun stuff.

Today we went to St. John, the hilliest motha island known to man and as we were getting ready to leave we let the car air out a bit, doors open, ya see. Well, dumb ass move. We all cram in, close her up, roll up the windows to let the AC pump just to realize there are no less than 40,000 mosquitos in the car. Jim can't figure out how to drive on the left andddd unlock the windows for us, so us kids go on a clapping frenzy killing families of bugs. I was covered with bug carcas and my own blood but we finally got them. We got them all. Sorry if this sounds dramatic, but Craig and I are reading "1776" for our book club and I just finished the Boston Massacre chapter.

I have increased my chance of contracting West Nile by 400%.

Other than thatttt

I went snorkeling today! Micky gets to the beach, puts her gear on and says, "I'm going to snorkel my brains out" That set the mood for the day. We were out there for like 2 hours straight. I lovvveeedddd it! Except for the jellyfish mine field that I treaded through (again, "1776"). I saw turtles and they were soooo cute. I also saw a puffer fish, he was smaller than I would have thought. I swam through this school of fish that was unreal. They were very small, maybe 2 inches long each, but they were bright silver and fluorescent purple and there must have been 10,000, no exhaggeration. I swam with them, they were my friends. My family saw a huge sting ray but I bounced out by then.

Oh haha but get this. I'm trying to dry off, taking a walk in the little shady grove off the beach and I turn around to see my mom staring at me speechless, like she saw a ghost. I'm like, "Mom, what's up?" I turn to my left, and Jesus H. there's a freaking donkey standing next to me. A DONKEY!! What?! But yea, that's how St. John rolls.

There's sooo much more I want to say. Like how my family had a professional beach photo shoot or how I sang "Son of a Preacher Man" at beach karaoke and won a bottle of Coconut Rum. You'll have to wait till I get home to hear first hand :-)

10 points to the first person who can say what tomorrow is?!?

The Storm Before the Calm

2008-08-02T22:56:00.001-04:00

I was driving along the turnpike trying to think of what I could possibly blog about when it came to me POW! like an explosion. Oh wait, no, that was just my back tire blowing up.

These things happen, I figured... yea, these things happen TO ME! I ran something over, it looked like roadkill as I approached it but the only way roadkill would have busted my tire was if the little critter died with its razor sharp claws extended in the air. Maybe it was a land mine, who knows. Story gets worse... my phone is dead. Amateur mistake. I hobble over to the shoulder of the turnpike and allow my mind to formulate some stupid ass plan that has little to no chance of working.

In driver's ed in high school we all had to submit an end of the year project, so me and my group filmed a how-to video for changing a tire. It was about 15 minutes long and there was no talking so we decided to add in background music. This was my portion of the project and being the raver that I am, I added an obnoxious techno song. I remember sitting in the gym watching this trippy movie with my peers and being soooo embarrassed.

So needless to say, as I am pulling my donut out of my trunk, I am humming Sandstorm and trying to backtrack to this movie. I was surprisingly thorough with this endeavor, secured all the wheels, found the indent in the car frame and jacked it up all nice. I thought I was facked when the bolts were turned so tight but luckily, I went to the gym this week, so I had super human strength. I pulled the one-two-change-a-roo and was back in action in no time. I stopped at the next rest stop to call my parents and I decided that my luck today is unparalleled so I bought a lottery ticket there as well. No dice.

As if the drive from Pittsburgh to Allentown isn't awful enough, try doing it at 40 miles per hour. Unbelievable. I had 150 miles left when ole Hanerz blew her load.

Anyway, I can't complain, it was a beautiful day, I changed a tire like a champ, and I am going to the Caribbean tomorrow at 6:50 am!! It's going to be sooooo calm and relaxing, I absolutely can't wait.

So, reader, this concludes another chapter of Jamie Neutron. Take care, charge your phones, and never doubt the power of techno.

9-12 Workday

2008-07-29T10:53:00.000-04:00

I'm going to take a half day today. Here are the reasons:

1. My afternoon job boss is moving her office and I doubt there will be anything for me to do since she'll just be unpacking all afternoon.
2. I didn't have coffee today since the delicious French Vanilla creamer was replaced with Cinnamon Vanilla Cream. "Um..what?" says I when I see that a swap has been made. Sorry but I don't want my coffee tasting like Big Red.
3. I picked up my bike from the deep catecombs of 342 last night and I want to work on it this afternoon.

I'm excited, I got new wheels and a nice comfy new seat that I found in my aunt's old junk. I'm going to put those on and then clean her up and get he shining like new :-)

For some reason, all of my shirts have little holes in the same exact spot. The location I would describe as just below belly button and smack in the center. They're small holes but none-the-less annoying as H. I have some theories for this:

1. I buy cheap ass clothes
2. I have moths (this would also explain why my room smells like moth balls, although I brought this up to Craig once and he told me that moths don't smell like moth balls)
3. Somehow the friction between my jeans and my shirt is bifting a whole

I will settle with a combination of 1 and 2. Sucks though, I mean I can't just not wear pants...or can I??

Mamma Mia!

2008-07-23T09:36:00.000-04:00

I think I am wearing a maternity dress today. I bought it at Old Navy last weekend and I know they have a maternity line. There's just alot more material than I am used to around the tummy region. Either way, I look stunning so whatever.

I have been seeing chick flick after chick flick since the old man's been away on vacation. Last night I watched August Rush, the night before was High School Musical, and my sister and I saw Mamma Mia in theaters on Sunday! I feel so spunky and upbeat!! And no MAN is ever going to get me down! Ugh, except this total creep job on the bus today. Now I know why some people carry around antibacterial hand stuff for riding the bus. I literally watched the guy pick a boogie, wipe it on the side wall of the bus and smear it all around. And when there was some still on his finger he moved on to wipe it all over the bus pole. And you can't just NOT hold on to the bus poles on the 54C since the driver's are loco. I need some Purell STAT!

So the past couple days I have been detoxing, and this time I was doing it right. I followed the Master Cleanse as recommended by Patrice and my sister, Carolyn. I did it for 2 full days and I really do feel great. I would have done it longer but I was losing energy like crazy. I'd read a chapter of an interesting novel (Cardiovascular Continuum Biomechanics) and then I'd just pass out for like 10 min. Maybe that was cause of the book... I really wasn't hungry though, despite not eating any solid food for 2 days and drinking only this concoction of lemon juice, maple syrup, and cayenne pepper. So I may continue this cleanse after crazy weekends or if I feel groggy. If I had done it for the whole 10 days, I could have lost 20 pounds! It's not easy though, I knew it was downhill for me when I learned about the saltwater flush. Good Lord, if there is a hell for me, I am sure it's lined with quarts of saltwater flush! This was absolutely awful. The point is that sea salt dissolved in lukewarm water is indigestible so it moves through your system cleaning things up and comes out pretty roughly. Now this process never followed all the way through for me....

The first night I did it, I pounded the drink with tears rolling down my face becuase it was awful. Anyone who knows me well knows I loathe the taste of salt, so the fact I was even doing this shows my committment to this damn cleanse. 1 quart (4 cups) of the saltwater and I was done, and dry heaving in the kitchen sink. So I layed on my right side, as instructed, and waited for the moment where it would come out. Welp, never happened, I guess my super gastric acids miraculously digested this stuff cause my digestive track was calm as a lamb all throughout High School Musical.

Next night, I did it again, a full quart of the nasty saltwater. This time I did it through a straw which was much better, so only shitty instead of god-awful. Haha, this story makes me laugh...I finish the flush, wipe the tears from my eyes, walk toward the living room to lie down, and immediately hurl up all 4 cups of it into my kitchen trash can. Thank goodness it was garbage night. I also assume I lost the only substance I had consumed that day cause my mouth tasted like lemon when I was done. Damnit. That's when I quit the cleanse and made dinner.

Get a Grip

2008-07-22T09:33:00.000-04:00

How beautiful it was to see Sir-Nods-a-Lot and Asstastic sharing a bench on the bus today! Yes, I said bench, you know the kind to normally fit 3, but since Asstastic has an ass of 2 grown humans, it became a loveseat.

Some things I don't think I'll ever understand. Despite my engineering degree or my unyielding common sense, I just can not grasp them. For example... now I know this may be a shock since you all think I am a genius, but I can't understand fax machines. Yea, I know, I read the wikipedia post and I've thought about it but I'm still stumped. If it's so much like a copy machine, then how come there's no bright scanning light? And I get the concept of sending information through binary to code for black and white, but how does it (the fax) know when to code a zero or a one? I know I know, the scanner tells it...but that takes me back to the copy machine! Oh well, it works so I'll go with it.

Next up, car rear view mirrors. What is happening when you flip the switch at night and the mirror transforms to make lights not as bright. What's going on there? Is the mirror warping its shape? It seems like your facing it more upwards but then how come it isn't mirroring the ceiling? I want to investigate further but every time I think of it, I'm, well, driving!

I just overheard my boss say, "Well, money doesn't grow on trees." Whoever thought of that phrase must have been joking because money DOES grow on trees. It's paper.

When I came into work today at the lupus center there was book sitting on the counter and I really liked the title, "Get a Grip: How to take control of your arthritis"

Oh wit!

Quick Note... on BATMAN!

2008-07-18T10:52:00.000-04:00

So Batman was awesome, I saw it last night at midnight. I highly recommend it. I can't write long today cause I am going to a snazzy lunch meeting at Sonoma Grille (ooh-la-la).

Anyway, this has been on my mind all day...

Hopefully you Batman fans will agree that Jim Gordon looks just like Ned Flanders!!!

Sun is in the sky, oh why, oh why would I want to be anywhere else??

2008-07-15T09:38:00.000-04:00

Lovely day here in Pittsburgh, PA. As my title suggests, the sun is shining and the yinzers are just as crazy as ever. As some of you may know, I make the daily commute to work via the 54C (54-sizzle) and today's post will introduce you to my comrades on the commute, or as I lovingly call them, the crazies. Of course, I know nothing about any of these people, not their names, their careers, their life ambitions. Occasionally, I learn more than I'd like to about their sex life, or their most recent post-nasal drip; but their identities remain a mystery.

The Villain -
I don't expect that he is actually a "crazy" since he works everyday and is always dressed nicely and well kept. He stands out none the less since he looks like an evil villain. I suspect he lives on my block since I creepily walk behind him on the way home everyday. It's not my fault that we get on and off the bus at the same time and have very similar gaits! Anyway, to assist your illustrative imaginations, I provide two images below that if blended form the very image of The Villian.

Big Voice, Little Person -
BVLP is truly an original, also probably not crazy, but I make assumptions, ya know? Well BVLP earned his name by repeatedly fooling me that he was a 7 foot tall black man while he actually stood as a 5'4 caucasian. For some reason he is always behind me on the bus and always talking to someone and I am ALWAYS surprised when I turn around to see his little body producing such a booming voice!

Sir Nods-a-lot -
Now Nods-a-lot, I believe, really is a crazy. He gets on the bus at the stop right before I get off in the mornings. Hence, I assume he works some sort of night shift at the hospital. From the second he gets on until I get off 2 blocks later, he is nodding away at me and other ladies and saying, "Hello", "Good Day", "Hi" or any combination of the aformentioned. Bless his heart, he's the kindest guy, at the same time, he'll always be known to me as Sir Nods-a-lot.

Ass-tastic -
Now, I know I'm not one to judge since I've been told once or twice that I have a ba-donk-a-donk...BUT! This thing is big, like real big! I think Sir-Mix-a-Lot said it best, "red beans and rice didn't miss her". I started out thinking Ass-tastic was a crazy since the first time I saw her she was standing in the middle of Liberty Ave., despite the construction men yelling at her cause she was blocking the way of their cement truck. But the more I learn about Ass-tastic (ie. the more I overhear her holler about) the more I think that she isn't clinically crazy, just a total nut! Either way, it's entertaining.

Yesterday, Craig and I were having dinner on the porch and wouldn't ya know it, we almost witnessed a TOTAL WRECK! Now this is nothing new at Gross Friends (our pet name for our house) since there are terrible road signs that direct traffic near the park we live across from. Well, imagine if you will: a 2 lane road with traffic going in opposite directions, cars parked on both side. Well a crazy POLICE CAR! comes barrelling through and the poor cars in his path try to get over but there's no where to really go since cars are parked on either side. So the loonie cop somehow manages to make it THROUGH the two cars going in opposite directions. This means that at one point, there were 5 cars on the road between the 2 curbs!! 2 parked, 2 driving, and the loonie cop. Craig and I were holding our breath and I nearly choked on my cauliflower!

Oh, it's a crazy city, we live in, ladies and gentlemen. Lily Allen, portrays the idea very nicely in her song, "LDN" which I have included below. It's a song for city folks, like us, who's days are enhanced by the random crazy city nonsense we get to see...free of cost!

Listed Sister

2008-07-10T10:40:00.000-04:00

Well, another Thursday finds me in front of the data entry computer and hungover. Last night was "Hump Day Happy Hour" with the work gang that turned into an all out bar crawl.

Anyway, I'm up and running, onward and upward, I always say. Not really though.

As I was walking to work today from the bus stop, my mind wondered, as it often does. I was thinking about words that I mess up alot and I compiled the following the list:

Words that I confuse and coincidentally look ignorant:

5. Anthology with Anthropology
4. Affect and Effect (I know this happens to everyone but normal people learn how to correct this and I just never will)
3. Eccentric and Eclectic (even as I wrote this I began to write "Ecclentric", like what's up with that??)
2. Stain and Strain (now this one is just stupid, but my mind just cannot decipher the two. Ask Craig or Dallas - or just wait for me to talk to you about the "Andromeda Stain")
1. This is a good one, a phrase: GOOD RIDDANCE (I never knew that this was a somewhat bad thing to say, all my life i would just exchange it with GOOD LUCK! So people would be leaving and I'd be like, "See ya and good riddance!")

I make lists in my head all the time. Literally, everything I think about it listed in my brain. Why is this? Is it onset schitzophrenia? Like even right now, my mind is thinking "Things I list..." and making a list! I don't really mind it, I kind of like the way I entertain myself but if you hear anything like this is an early symptom of mental disease, please let me know.

TTFN = "ta ta for now", a Maggie Haney-O'Leary favorite

Fast and Loose

2008-07-07T13:38:00.000-04:00

I tried to fast yesterday. It was Craig's idea to DETOX after the week's events of binge drinking, eating, hookah and other patriotic past-times. I figured I wouldn't eat all day Sunday or Monday. This would allow me to digest all the damage I have accumulated over the weekend and start fresh.

It's not that I couldn't handle it cause I could! I was just bored as hell and cooking a large Sunday dinner feast seemed to be the answer. It was great, I made spinach and provolone stuffed pork loin and homemade mashed potatoes.

>> This blog blurb is being entered from the MAC store! I am picking up my broke ass Mac Book and playing around on the Mac Air. Everyone here is very nic <<

I had to X out the window cause the guy who was helping me was coming back.

I don't have a lot to say today but I feel bad cause I have only blogged twice so far and I need something to do while my computer installs MATLAB. I just got it fixed and now I am going to blow its RAM with the mega-MathWorks. Also, how bout that, me getting back into MATLAB, ah I am so excited. Be prepared for frequent screen shots.

I will leave you with this list I thought out while I was walking from my house to the MAC store:

TOP 5 MOVIE SEQUELS THAT ARE BETTER THAN THE ORIGINAL:

5. The Mighty Ducks 2 (some may know it as D2: The Mighty Ducks)

4. Star Wars 2 (which is Return of the Jedi, I think, if I am wrong, than this entry is void because Return of the Jedi is the BEST! But all the old Star Wars are awesome, that's why this is only entry #4)

3. Each progressive Harry Potter is better than the last, however, none of them are better than the books.

2. Back to the Future 2 (We get to go to the 50's and to the future to see Biff!)

1. X-MEN 2 (So good I didn't even want to see the first one!)

Bono Fide

2008-07-01T11:23:00.000-04:00

As I sit here entering clinical research data into a medical database, my mind casually wonders to events, conversations, arguments, and food stuffs of the past week. To name a few:

THE BURGLAR, THE BITCH, and THE BOTCHED DEGREE (aka my graduation party)

This little illiteration pretty closely sums up my college graduation party haha. Well I was home this weekend for a party in the honor of my high school graduate sister and me, the college grad. Freaking great party, really it was, but in retrospect there were some foul plays and some mysteries left unsolved.

INCIDENT #1 - FRIDAY NIGHT - Rowdy teens and instigating 20-somethings decide to "party like rap stars" by boozing and causing a raucus in my parent's hot tub. 3 hours, 2 cases, and myriad pruney body parts later the party moves into the house. I decide it's a good idea to beat my little sister with my college diploma that arrived in the mail that day. Ruined it. Damn. 4 years of engineering work for a piece of paper I destroy... This is why I'm hot.

INCIDENT #2 - SATURDAY AFTERNOON - I get word that my family is planning a relay race for me and my sister to compete in. Being the competive and uber creative competitor (competitive competitor?) I decide to go upstairs and plan out an outfit to distract Micky while also dazzling the crowd. After 30 minutes, I come down stairs decked out in leggings, tie died shirt and shorts, dread locks wig, Rocky Balboa headband, war paint, and shin guards. I strut my stuff downstairs acting cocky like I'm some sort of superhero... I see Micky and wave and she storms up to me, shoves me, and says "YOU RUINED MY PARTY!", "uh what?" I retort... She runs out of the room and I am left standing in front of all the guests looking like a complete tool. I changed.

INCIDENT #3 - SATURDAY EVENING - Some little punk stole money from my graduation gift box. Not alot but probably like 50 or so. Jerk.

NEXT THOUGHT ----> Why does everyone hate Bono?
Now I'm not going to go on and on about this but I would just like to make a point. Or, I guess, a counterargument to all those people who hate Bono cause he is humanitarian and coincidentally very famous.

If I stand on my little soapbox and say, "Hey all you people, get smart! Start taking care of the planet and she'll take care of you!" If I do that, some guy will just hand me a buck and say, "crack kills, kid, get yourself a coffee." INSTEAD, we let Bono do it and things actually are getting done! What's wrong with someone famous letting the word be heard?!? Ok, this is going too deep already, just wanted to make the point.

I am listening to Kimya Dawson right now on my new iTouch and I like this lyric:
"They think we're disposable, well both my thumbs opposable
Are spelled out on a double word and triple letter score"

YAY SCRABBLE!

My next blog will be a dateline-esque investigation of the Recycling Initiative in Pittsburgh.... or LACK THERE OF!

Till then, I am most sincerely yours ;-)

TGIF

2008-06-27T11:31:00.000-04:00

It's blog time, ladies and gentlemen. I have tinkered in the blogging arena a few times before but never really kept up with it. The benefits to beginning this committment, for me, are threefold -

1. I have something to do at work
2. I can (hopefully) recieve feedback on the little ventures I take on
3. well the obvious one.. I can become FAMOUS!

It's Friday afternoon,

I am at job #1 (there are about 5 jobs I am holding right now, see list below) and I finished the work that is supposed to take me 4.5 hours in 15 minutes.

This is why I sleep in everyday.

MY SUMMER JOBS (in no particular order):
1. Data entry person for the Women's Hospital
2. I train college freshman/budding scientists the art of mouse dissection and tissue processing
3. Courier
4. I'm helping to plan a chef competition benefit event
5. I'm beginning my graduate work by debugging a MATLAB program that calculated the strain energy function of arteries based on biaxial load data
6. Homemaker

Haha, not really a homemaker, although, I just moved into a new apartment and it's alot of work.
So for today's post, I would like to present to you a unmistakeable resemblance that is as complex as it is engaging. I came upon this interesting observation because I have become consumed byNetflix and back seasons of The Simpsons...

I think Homer Simpson looks just like Bruce Willis! See below:

Questions, comments, thoughts, concerns?

(NOTE: my statistics TA would say this all the time, like 4 times per recitation, and it drove me nuts!)